AJ looked at his watch as he sat in a cab on the way to his mother’s house. It had been hours since he and Brian had gone their separate ways and yet he felt like it had been days already. He’d thought he’d understood before how close they had become. But now that they were apart, he was realizing what an intricate part of his life Brian had become.
Some of it was in ways so small that AJ had never noticed them until now, when he was without them. The way that, even though they might not be touching, he could always feel Brian’s warmth right next to him. The smell of Brian’s shampoo that always surrounded him. How, when his hands started to tremble just a little, Brian seemed to realize it even before he did and offered comfort or distraction.
He missed reaching out and lacing their fingers together. The way that Brian would hold his hand now, just slightly tighter than he had use to do, now that he was more comfortable with touch between them. Or that little smile that Brian gave him when he said something funny; not quite a full smile, but a flash of one.
Jesus, did he sound pathetic or what? It had only been hours, fifteen hours to be exact, and already he was sitting here pining for the man. He had to get a grip on himself. But he knew pining for him was also a way for his brain to focus on something other than the worry. Worry about what Zach might do. Worry about how Brian was going to do, mentally. Worry that, when Brian came back, maybe he’d have decided that being with AJ wasn’t what he wanted right then.
Be honest with yourself, that’s the biggest worry you have AJ thought. You’re absolutely terrified that he’s going to go home and without you there he’ll start to heal more and realize that right now, he doesn’t want you in his life.
It was petty, but it was true. And it made him feel like an ass. You should be happy he’s standing up for himself enough that he wasn’t afraid to tell you that he wanted to be alone. That’s a huge step. He’s getting back some confidence. You should be happy he’s comfortable enough to go home to his family alone.
The cab pulled up into a long driveway, stopping at the top. Even as AJ paid the man and was stepping out to grab his bags, his mother was rushing out the front door. “Alex!” she cried, racing toward him. AJ caught her up in a big hug, smiling at her excitement. The minute she pulled away she started talking. “God, it’s so good to see you! Look at you! You’ve lost weight again, haven’t you? I swear, you never eat enough.”
“I eat plenty, Ma.” He reassured her as he grabbed his bags from the trunk. It was the same thing they said to one another every single time he went to see her. Just like always, she stole a bag from him despite his protests and then started to usher him in the house. He knew she’d have food in the oven waiting for him. It never failed. Though it was ten o’clock at night, she wouldn’t care. He could almost predict what it was going to be. Either meatloaf, or spaghetti, both of which he loved.
Sure enough, he smelled the meatloaf the instant he stepped through the door. And, if he wasn’t mistaken, that was mashed potatoes in the air as well.
Denise set his bag at the bottom of the stairs and turned around to smile at him. Shutting the door, AJ looked over at her and felt everything in his heart seem to just swell up. He dropped his two bags with a loud thud and stepped over, wrapping her into his arms again.
Tears that he hadn’t known were there were suddenly filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. One of the man reasons he loved his mother was that she understood him like no one else in the world. She didn’t panic on him, or exclaim over the tears or the trembling. Instead, she moved them over to the couch and sat down, cradling AJ against her until his head was resting on her shoulder. “There, there hon. Let it out.” She whispered soothingly.
He hadn’t realized just how much he’d had locked inside of him. But there, in the comfort of his mother’s living room, nestled in the same arms that had always been there for him, he just shattered. For quite a while he just cried, saying nothing, unable to do anything else.
When he could finally catch his breath, he found himself telling her everything. Every moment since all the shit had started. He omitted nothing this time, giving her the unvarnished truth. By the time he was done he felt hollowed out; empty.
Denise brought a hand up, stroking back his hair. “My poor baby.” She said softly. “You’ve had a hard time of it, haven’t you?
“Not as hard as Brian.” He started to protest.
She shook her head and planted a kiss on his hair. “Doesn’t make yours any less painful, baby. My heart breaks for Brian, it truly does, and I’ll say a few extra prayers for him tonight. But you’re my son and you’re here with me. My main concern is you. Maybe this trip is what the both of you need, not just him. He has time to think on himself and to find healing with his family. You should try doing the same.”
“I can’t help worrying about him, Ma. He…he means so much to me.”
“I know he does. I’ve always known that. But you need to take care of you for a little while. You need to handle your own feelings and your own problems before you can be any help to him with his.”
Her words gave him pause, forcing him to think. What she said made sense. If he didn’t deal with his own pain than how could he expect to deal with Brian’s? “I was blessed with a pretty smart Ma.” He told her, pulling away to smile at her.
She brought a hand up to wipe the tears off his face. “Guess you’re just lucky like that, hm?”
Laughter tickled his throat. No matter what, his mom always had the ability to make him smile. She was more than just his mom; she was one of his best friends. “I love you, Ma.”
“I love you too, Alex. Now let’s go eat some dinner and get you in bed.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time him and Kevin arrived at home, Brian was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Why did he think that coming back home all alone was a good idea? It wasn’t, not at all and there had been moments when he had been about to ask the driver to turn the cab around and drove him back to Alex. The ride to the airport had been quiet, small talk with Kevin and just lingering to the idea to be back in his home, ready and needing to just lay inside his mom’s arms and forget why he was running away. No, he wasn’t running. And he wasn’t even hiding. He was just putting reality on hold while gathering all the strength needed to fight Zach.
But, when they arrived at the airport, suddenly everything seemed louder and more scaring: crowds of people gathering in the waiting room, people walking to get to their gate without noticing if they touched someone else. Just that thought was enough to bring his panic in overdrive. Was he supposed to get through that? Hell no! But then... then he thought about the whole purpose of this trip, how he was supposed to do things on his own without hiding behind Alex’s shadow. Coming home was supposed to be something natural and without a problem... yet, there he was probably looking like the scared kid he had been almost ten years before when he first landed in Orlando.
He stood closely to Kevin, flinching every time someone would walk too much close to him and his eyes never stopped wondering in every directions, scanning the area for every signs of danger. He was being paranoid and he knew it but knowing and doing something were two different things. Because the fear of danger came up every single little time he was a blonde man or someone who looked like Zach. And it seemed like all the blond men were inside that airport!
By the time he was on the plane, safely seated between Kevin and Drew, he was mentally exhausted but still couldn’t find peace. He tried to sleep but every little movement or sounds of steps jerked him awake so, half way through the flight, he just gave up and let Kevin have the funny job to try to keep him distracted. Kevin talked about how happy he was, despite the circumstances, to be able to see Kristin and how he was thinking about proposing to her when Christmas would come.
That brought a little smile on his face, it was about time for them to tie the knot and there was no one more perfect for Kevin than Kristin. And he couldn’t help to feel a little pang of jealousy and envy towards him: he could start thinking about his future, a future about family and no once he had to question himself if he would be able to let the one he cared the most inside him, inside his heart. He didn’t have to worry if it was right or fair to be happy about something even if that reality had been tainted with blood. But his greatest fear was centered around Alex and if he was going to really wait for him for so how long.
He loves you, he’s not going to leave you. His heart objected. In fact, he wanted to come with you.
No, coming alone was the right thing. And Alex was going to be better having so time for himself, trying to heal and to deal with his problems. That was something that people in love did for the ones they loved, right?
Love. He was scared, something that he had never been. He had been raised with love, he had grown loving and now... now he was terrified.
“You... you okay, Bri?” Kevin asked. He had tried to give him peace but Brian seemed so lost and it pained him to think that there was nothing he could do to help him. They were now in the cab heading towards the Littrell’s house and still Brian looked like he was going towards a torture room.
“Just... thinking.” Thinking, what an understatement!
“Something I can help?”
At first, Brian simply shook his head. How Kevin could understand? But then, the words slipped from his tongue. “I... do you think I did the right thing?” That question implied so many others: did he do the right thing letting Alex close to him? Did he do the right thing allowing himself to hope? Did he do the right thing thinking that he could get over something like that all by himself?
“Coming home? – Brian nodded. – Yes. Bri, You might not see it but you need those days. Even after the rape, the first thing you did was to think about Nick. You’ve always put other before your own well-being and this isn’t going to last. You aren’t going to last if you keep pushing aside your feelings because they might hurt someone.”
“Thanks for the trust.” Brian joked.
“You’re welcome. – Kevin joked back. Then, he turned serious, knowing what was bothering his cousin. Or, better said, who was swirling around his mind. – Don’t stress yourself over Aj. The kid is stubborn, sometimes more than you, but he loves you. You can count on that. He’s probably debating with himself if it’s right to call you or if it’s too soon. He won’t leave you or realize that you have too much baggage to handle.”
Brian turned his head towards the window and watched the landscape became more and more familiar. They were getting closer to home but, instead than wondering how he was going to be welcomed, his mind travelled toward its sun. He wondered if Alex was already at home, letting Denise take care of him like he hadn’t be able too. He wondered if there was security around him, if he was being guarded because he didn’t trust Zach. And, at least, he wondered if Alex was missing him like he did.
Kevin let him in his own mind until they got home. Lights were still on and Brian could almost picture his mom sitting on the porch, a cup of coffee in her hands while she was waiting for him. She did it every time, a routine started way back in his high school days when she would wait for him every night he went out with his friend: they would just stayed sitting on the porch and talked a little, listening to the comfortable sounds of the nature around them. He missed this, he missed the quietness and the calmness around him, it had always helped him to ease whatever storm was raging inside him.
As he thought, his mom was there, sitting on the old swing seat that she refused to change. She put down the cup of coffee inside her hands and then next thing Brian knew was that he was involved in the tight hug he’d missed so much. Inside those arms, he was able to forget the reasons why he was back home, why the tour had been postponed and why he was feeling so exhausted that he could barely stand up. Inside those arms, he was able to shut down his brain and just not feel anymore. Because he was safe.
He didn’t remember being moved until he was in his old room. He didn’t remember being stripped down of his shoes and being tucked inside warm blankets. The only thing his brain registered was that the bed was too big for him and there wasn’t someone holding his hand?
He fell asleep while Jackie was leaving a glass of water on his bedside table, a small kiss on the temple lingering even in dreams, offering to the battled soul another ray of hope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lying in bed, AJ stared up at the ceiling. So many things had happened lately. It was hard to believe that it had only been three days since the party. Since he had bared his soul to management and Brian had stood up for him. Since everyone had found out about what had happened to Brian.
Only a day since they’d found out about all the other murders.
He shivered, pulling the blankets closer around himself. It took quite a bit of concentration to stop himself from scratching at his skin again. The itchiness wasn’t as bad as it had been before but it was still there. Still enough to drive him crazy if he focused on it.
What was he going to do? After eating dinner with his Ma, she’d shuffled him off to bed, telling him to try and get some sleep. Ha. As if that was going to happen. The instant he’d laid down in his bed his brain had started going a million miles an hour. There were too many thoughts crowded together, each one clamoring for attention, keeping him from sleeping.
How was Brian doing right then? Was he ok, settling in his with his family? Had Zach followed him out there? That thought was terrifying. AJ hated being so far away from Brian. What if something did happen? What if Zach did show up? Here he was, miles and miles and miles away, unable to protect the one that he loved if something bad should happen.
This was what Brian wanted. This was what he needed. Time with his family, away from everyone else. Away from all the stress and the worries and the fears. With his family he had a chance of finding peace inside of himself. Could AJ really begrudge him that? Knowing the logic behind it didn’t ease the ache in AJ’s heart, though.
He found himself rolling over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position, trying to find that warmth that was usually there. It had become so normal to fall asleep with Brian there with him. To listening to Brian’s steady breathing, or listening for the little sounds that showed he was having a nightmare. It was normal for him to feel Brian’s hand in his as he drifted off. Without that, AJ felt alone. The bed seemed so big and empty without his love in there with him.
They had come to mean so much to one another. In that instant AJ could see that it wasn’t just Brian who had come to depend on him. He had come to depend on Brian too. A casual touch, a warm presence. The little smile that Brian gave him when he woke, seeing AJ still there by his side.
He wished that Brian was there to hold his hand. Then, he could offer comfort to him and take comfort in return.
God, it was so tempting to get up out of bed, go downstairs, and raid the liquor cabinet he knew his mother had. A few drinks would help him settle down enough to sleep. Just a few. That wouldn’t hurt him too much, would it? No one would blame him. Not after all the hell they’d been in lately. They’d understand. Brian would understand.
That last thought was enough to snap AJ out of it. He snorted. The hell Brian would understand. He understood the other times, those weren’t AJ”s fault. But if he walked down those stairs right now and took a drink, that would be his doing and that, Brian wouldn’t be so forgiving on.
A sudden buzzing broke through AJ’s thoughts, pulling him back to reality. He looked over at the nightstand and saw the light on his cell phone as it vibrated, letting him know there was an incoming call. Who on earth would be calling him at this time of night? A glance at the clock showed him it was 2am.
Scooping the phone up, he opened it without looking and answered “Hello?”
“Hey.”
That one word had everything inside of AJ warming over. “Hey to you too.” He answered, smiling. “Isn’t it a little late where you are, Bri? What’re you doing up?”
Brian’s voice shook a little, holding a note to it that AJ had become very familiar with. It told him what was going on even before Brian finished answering. “Oh, you know me. Just…a nightmare, that’s all.” He paused, then said “I reached for you but you weren’t there. It took me a minute to remember why. But you…you said I could call if I needed.”
“Of course you can. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, you can always call me, honey.”
“How, uh, how’s your mom doing?”
Now that he was talking to Brian, all of AJ’s earlier problems seemed to fade a little. He snuggled down into the blankets and let his eyes drift shut, Brian’s voice washing over him. “She’s doing pretty well. Ornery as ever. Had a bomb meatloaf dinner waiting for me when I got here.”
That made Brian chuckle slightly, albeit weakly. “Some things never change. Mom was waiting on the porch for me to get here, just like she always does.”
“God bless Ma’s, eh? No matter how old a man gets, it’s always good to come home and just be a little boy again. Before I leave here I’m sure I’ll hear a million lectures about my weight, my hair, my tattoos, my clothes. She’s already mentioned getting me a haircut tomorrow. An my bag was already stolen and taken to the laundry room so she can wash it all.”
This time Brian’s laugh was a little more honest. “You need a haircut. You’re getting awfully shaggy.” He teased.
AJ grinned. “Hey now, none of this picking on me shit. If Ma has her way, I’ll come back looking like I’m fourteen with my short hair and no facial hair. Can you believe she wants me to shave off my goatee? I mean, seriously now.”
“Heaven forbid, not the goatee!” Brian chuckled. “Actually, tell her to leave that one alone. I like it. It suits your face.”
Warmth spread through AJ. He actually felt a small blush warm his cheeks at Brian’s compliment. “Thanks.”
The two were silent for a few minutes, not really needing to say anything. Just lying there listening to the other breathe was good enough. It made them both feel less like they were alone. After a few minutes of quiet, though, Brian whispered something so soft that AJ almost didn’t hear him. “I miss you.”
Love had AJ’s heart swelling. “I miss you too.” He answered back just as softly.
“I know this is what I need, this time alone with my family, but this bed is awfully lonely.” The admission seemed difficult for Brian to say. “”I got used to reaching out and holding your hand. Or listening to you breathe.”
“I know what you mean. My bed feels too big. There’s too much empty space. Before you called, I was laying here thinking about that. I can’t seem to get comfortable or warm.”
“Do you think…would you mind staying on here with me until I fall asleep?”
AJ closed his eyes and smiled, so full of love he thought he’d burst. “Of course I will.” His voice was hoarse with emotion. “Do you want me to talk or sing or just lie here with you?”
“Just…just lay here.”
The two men fell silent, listening to the other one breathing. It was a peaceful sound. Snuggled into his blankets, Brian’s breathing in his ear, AJ felt himself start to drift. He heard as Brian’s breathing evened out, heard as it slipped into the measured pattern of sleep. Moments after that, AJ’s body gave up its fight and he too was asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Autumn had always been one of his favorite seasons, along with the Christmas time. The temperature was mild, not too cold and neither too warm, but it was the mix of colors that captured his soul: shades of red and orange blending in together while the bright green of leaves and trees was slowly dying. Everything seemed like it came out from a painting and the quietness surrounded the nature was the best medicine for his tainted soul.
Brian let his thoughts run free and wild, jumping from issue to issue without logic beneath them. The talk with his mom had been useful and left him with a lot of things to consider. He had struggled, since the beginning, to find a reason beneath what happened. When he couldn’t find it, he had felt lost, wondering every step he had made that forced that guy to do something that horrible. Now... now he was allowing himself to believe that he didn’t do anything wrong, holding to the fact that sometimes people were just evil without a reason for their behavior.
That admission freed him, lifting a weight upon his shoulders. Yes, he was still wondering why had been chosen but it wasn’t so dooming like it had been before. Coming to terms with was the first step into healing and that was his goal. Now, he had something to look forward, something to reach before it could slip away. And it was his love for Alex.
Breaking up with Nick had been a right thing, maybe the best thing he had done since the rape. Their relationship couldn’t survive something like that and, most of the times, he had to tell himself that the blonde guy looking at him was Nick and not his rapist. How could they build something if his loved one kept reminding him of what happened? No, before he could hate Nick for something he didn’t do, he had to let him free. And that he had done.
His mind turned to practical matters, a way to break through the vicious circle of fears and bad thoughts. Or bad memories. He knew it was inevitable, for there were so many things that could trigger the memories or making him feel like he was being held by Zach. But that didn’t mean that he had to live his life being scared or refusing to live because of that. Not at all.
First, he had to get back on his feet. That meant sleeping and eating more, simply taking care of himself. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy but he wasn’t left all alone, his family would help him and he was so grateful for that.
But, while he knew that he could deal with the physical stuff, the emotional and mental stuff was much more difficult to deal all alone. No matter how many times he told himself that he wasn’t dirty, that touching didn’t mean he was tainting someone else or that he was going to be hurt. Then, there was the whole trust issue: he had been so easy in trusting people, always offering a smile and being friendly with them. Now, the mere thought of being surrounded by dozens and dozens of unknown people was terrifying. He couldn’t stand feeling like this so the only resort left was to seek help with a therapist. Maybe he could ask Alex if he knew someone from his days in rehab.
Alex. He was going to get better mostly for him.
Finally feeling at peace, Brian returned home. He wanted to call Alex, just to hear his voice and maybe asking him to come earlier than planned. When he stepped inside the house, he found that there was too much silence for being almost dinner time. There were no lights either.
“Mom?”
He got no response so he walked over the kitchen, sure to find her there cooking but the room was empty. A note on the table informed that she went to gather the last things she needed for dinner and Drew had gone with her. Relief swept through him: it made him feel better that someone was with her. Who knew if Zach had followed him?
So, he returned in the living room and there he started to smell a strange perfume. He looked around, trying to find the source of that smell but something, outside the window, caught his attention. Blonde hair, ice eyes that locked with his and a evil grin.
God no. No, no, no! There was no doubt who he was, he couldn’t be Nick since he was back at his home in Tampa. Or with Howie? He didn’t remember but he knew he wasn’t there in Kentucky. He looked back at the window but no one was there. Had he been hallucinating? It didn’t matter; he wouldn’t take any other chance to let Zach hurt him.
This time, panic didn’t block him or overwhelmed him that much that he couldn’t breathe. No, this time panic pushed him into action: running, he went to the front door and locked it; then he moved to the back door and did the same, the beat of his heart ranging so loudly inside his ears. When he was sure that every door had been locked, he jumped on his feet and went upstairs. He would lock himself in his room and he would call Kevin. No, first he would call Alex. He needed to hear Alex, to be reassured that he wasn’t being crazy for having locked everyone out.
He didn’t realize that something was wrong inside his room. He just slammed the door closed and then leaned over it, trying to calm himself. Breathe in, breathe out. Just like Alex had taught him. As he was taking a decent amount of air, the same smell he smelled downstairs hit him more forceful. It felt like he had stepped in the middle of a field of roses.
So he turned around. Black and red swam around him, circles and circles that were coming closer and closer and wee suffocating him with their smell. Roses were everywhere: on his bed, on the bedside table and on the drawers. In every corner, bouquets of red and black were staring back at him, the red so deep that it seemed like painted with blood.
Fear filled him in every vein, turning the blood in ice that was slowly numbing his feelings. The screams ripped their way from a hole placed around his heart. They ran freely, no control placed on them because there wasn’t any left inside him.
Brian kept screaming, hoping that it was all a nightmare, another one, but knowing, deep inside, that he was already awake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laughter bubbled up in AJ’s throat. He couldn’t help it. Sitting back on the couch, he tipped his head back and let out the laughter inside of him. Across from him, curled up in the loveseat with her cup of coffee, Denise grinned.
When AJ finally got his laughter under control, down to the occasional hiccup, he wiped at his eyes and gave his mother a grin identical to hers. “Geeze, Ma! No wonder the man didn’t call you back!” he taunted her.
“Why on earth would I want him to call me back?” Denise fired back. “Seriously, he put new meaning to the word ‘minute man’! We didn’t even make it out of the car!”
AJ started to laugh again. His mother was telling him about her most recent date with a man she’d liked that she’d met at the grocery store. Unlike most mother-son relationships, AJ and his mom had never been shy discussing anything in their life, sex included. So, others might have been embarrassed if their mother told them that she’d been participating in some hot and heavy petting inside of a car, or how the man had finished while they still had their clothes on, but for AJ it was just the normal way his Ma talked.
“You’re such a little hussy, Ma.” He teased her when he could talk again. “Getting a man all bothered in the car, not even taking him inside. Then, just cause he got a little over excited and finished a little early, you send him packing. You tease you.”
“If petting in the car finishes him, he’d never have survived coming in with me anyways.”
This time as AJ laughed, he heard his cell phone ringing in his pocket. He and Denise were both still laughing as he answered. “Hello?”
“AJ, it’s Kevin.”
AJ’s humor died a quick death. Everything inside of him locked down tight and his senses went on high alert. “What happened?” he rasped. He knew that Kevin wouldn’t be calling him unless something was wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong. AJ barely noticed that Denise had moved over, one hand resting on his knee for support.
“First, Brian’s ok. He’s not hurt.” Kevin rushed to get that out, knowing that AJ needed to hear it so he could process the rest. It loosened a knot in AJ’s chest so that he could breathe a little easier. The next part seemed to cut him back down. “Zach was here. He put flowers in Brian’s room. Roses. Brian was walking and he came home…” Quickly, Kevin summed up what had happened.
With each word, AJ felt his terror and his anger grow. Zach had been there, at the Littrell’s house! He’d followed Brian all the way home! God, they were lucky that Brian had been smart enough to run around and lock the doors. He’d been able to stay level headed enough. “Sweet God.” He murmured when Kevin was done. “How’s Brian doing? Where is he?”
“He’s in the living room with Uncle Harold and Aunt Jackie. He…he’s not talking. At all. Once he told us what happened, he just…stopped. Went totally silent. He’s scaring me a little, J. I don’t know what to do for him. He doesn’t want any of us near him.”
“Don’t touch him.” AJ warned quickly. “Make sure he has enough space to breathe. Take the phone to him.”
“He’s not moving, not all the way there. I don’t think he’ll talk on the phone.”
AJ shifted impatiently. He didn’t pay attention as his Ma got up and left him on the couch. “I don’t need him to move. Take the phone in where he is and keep back at least a foot from him. He won’t you close. You wouldn’t get close enough to tell him that it’s me without him flipping. Just walk in there for me, please.”
There was the sound of shuffling. As Kevin moved toward where Brian was, AJ got up and hurried up the stairs. He cradled the cell phone between his shoulder and his ear. While he dealt with this, he was going to start throwing his things together. The hell if he was staying away now. Not when Brian needed him.
“Ok, Age, I’m here.”
“Good. Now hold the phone out toward him and put me on speakerphone.”
A second later, as AJ threw a few of his shirts into his bag, he heard the sound on the phone change. Then Kevin was saying “Ok, you’re on. We’re all in here, though, Age.”
Who cared who else was in there? AJ stopped for a moment, closing his eyes. “Brian? Brian, honey, it’s me. It’s Alex.” He spoke loudly, hoping his voice would break through Brian’s panic. “Brian, I want you to listen to me and you listen good, ok? I want you to stay at your parents’ house and I want you to wait for me. I’m getting my stuff together right now and I’m going to be on the first flight out. I’ll be there as quick as I can, ok?”
It was quiet in the background for a moment. Then, barely audible, AJ heard Brian’s sweet voice. “Hurry.”
Love filled AJ’s heart, overflowing into his voice. “God, honey, I will. I’ll go as fast as I can. Just hold on till I get there.”
Denise came in then, handing AJ a paper. “If we leave now you’ll make your flight. I booked you a non-stop flight out there. It leaves in forty minutes.”
“You hear that, honey?” AJ asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder and grabbing his suitcase. He followed his Ma downstairs so that she could grab her keys and then they were heading toward the car. It had taken no time at all for him to get his stuff together. “We’re on our way to the airport right now. I’ll be there as soon as I can, I promise you. I’ll see you soon.”
As he hopped in his Ma’s car, AJ prayed to God he’d get there fast enough. That, when he got there, he’d be able to think of something to do to help his love feel better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little over an hour had gone by since Kevin had called AJ and told him what was going on. There was still hours before AJ would arrive. Watching his cousin, Kevin prayed that Brian would be able to hold himself together until them. Brian sat on the couch, arms wrapped around his waist, rocking slightly. His eyes seemed distant and glazed, as if he wasn’t quite all the way there anymore.
Brian didn’t feel like he was all the way there. His brain didn’t seem able to focus on anything. All he could do was sit there and count down the seconds until Alex would arrive.
A buzzing sound echoed through the room, startling them all. It took a second to realize that it was the doorbell. Kevin was the one to answer the door. His deep voice rumbled down the hallway, drawing Brian’s attention. Unable to resist, Brian looked over, watching as Kevin walked back into the room.
Everything inside of Brian froze. Kevin carried a vase of sunflowers in his hands. In the back of Brian’s mind he found himself thinking how pretty and happy the flowers looked. But the rest of him felt as if it was coiled tight with terror.
Concern brightened Kevin’s eyes. He looked over to Harold and Jackie, who sat on the couch, holding one another’s hands. Then his gaze moved over toward Brian. He seemed to hesitate before he shook his head. “Let me take these in the kitchen.”
“No.” Brian’s voice was a croak. It was the first sound he’d asked AJ to hurry. He looked at Kevin and tried to will himself to move. Even though he wanted to run, he wanted to tell Kevin to get those flowers out of there, he could see a card nestled in there and he couldn’t resist seeing what it said. It was like something drew him to those flowers. Though his movements were jerky, he still managed to climb to his feet and walk over to Kevin. His hands shook as he took the vase from Kevin’s hands. Turning, he set it on the table.
Everyone was silent, watching Brian pull the card from the middle of the sunflowers. There had to be at least a dozen flowers in the vase.
Brian almost couldn’t open up the card. He knew what it was going to say on the inside. Another message from Zach. Another reminder of terror. God, God! He couldn’t handle this!
Yet he couldn’t stop himself from pulling the little card from the envelope and opening it. For a moment he just stood there, staring at the words on the card. Then he did the only thing that came to mind. He laughed.
He laughed so hard he dropped back onto the couch, the card falling from his hand. Tension dissolved in one single instant. For the first time since the incident had happened, Kevin heard his cousin really and truly laugh, straight from his stomach. It made him smile.
Jackie leaned forward and plucked the card from the ground. Her eyes were bright with curiosity. The corner of her mouth quirked as she silently read the card. Then she too let out a laugh. Looking at her husband and her nephew, she read the card to them.
“If someone’s going to stalk you, the least they can do is pick the right flowers.
These sunflowers and their wide happy faces always make me think of you. :) Guess that means I’m a better stalker than he is.
I promise not to take too many candid pictures through your window.
Much.
Well, just give an extra shake for me next time you’re near a window. I’ve got a good, strong lens.
I’ll be there in just a few hours, Bri, so I hope these hold you until I get there. Look for me in the tree outside your bedroom. I’ll be the one with the camera and the wide lens.
Love,
Alex”
The four of them laughed together, the tension in the room nicely dispelled. Kevin couldn’t help but shake his head. Leave it to AJ to think of something like that.