By the time AJ’s plane landed he thought he was going to split apart with the nerves jangling inside of him. Everything was taking far too long. He needed to be with Brian, immediately. He needed to see him, to hold him, to know that he was ok. Impatience had him practically bouncing on his heels as he exited the plane. Thank God he’d only brought a carry-on bag. If he’d had to wait in baggage claim he might have exploded.
Only as he was walking through the terminal did he realize that he hadn’t set up transportation from the airport to the Littrell house. So it was a surprise when he looked over and suddenly saw Kevin’s tall frame waiting out on the sidewalk.
Once he caught sight of him, AJ made a beeline to his friend. The two men embraced briefly before Kevin led him over toward a car.
“How is he?” AJ asked, needing to make sure Brian was ok. He damn well better be ok! If this set Brian back in his recovery, well, AJ was going to go out and find Zach and murder him with his bare hands! That son of a bitch deserved nothing less.
Kevin shrugged. They reached the car at that moment, so his answer was forestalled until they were seated inside and pulling out of the parking lot. “He’s better than he was. Not so locked away.” Kevin finally said. “Those flowers you sent helped.” This time, he shot a look and a small grin at AJ. “You are one in a million, man. Only you would jokingly send flowers and a card like that to a man whose stalker had just filled their room with flowers.”
“What can I say? I’m unique.”
“Yeah, well, I did the trick. He laughed like I haven’t heard him laugh since before all this started.”
Satisfaction lit up AJ. Good, he’d achieved his goal then. He’d wanted to break up some of the tension in that house as well as try and ease Brian’s tension. His lips curved as he pictured Brian giving that full bodied laugh that he had once been so famous for. God, it was too bad he hadn’t been there for it. He missed that sound. Whenever Brian laughed, those around him couldn’t help but smile or laugh with him, the sound was just so joyous.
Absently he itched at his hand as he stared out the window. The entire plane ride he’d been fighting the urge to drink, or to do anything else. His body was in a withdrawal anyways, but adding on the stress of the current situation only made it worse. Now his mind was craving as well as his body.
“What did the cops have to say about it all? They find anything they can use?” He asked in an effort to distract himself.
A funny look crossed Kevin’s face. Seeing it had AJ turning in his seat to better look at Kevin. “What is it?” he demanded.
Kevin sighed softly. “No one’s been back in Brian’s room since he went in.”
“No one’s been back there?” AJ asked in surprise.
The look that Kevin gave him as they stopped at a stoplight was deep and searching. “Brian panicked at the idea of calling the cops. He wants Micheal. So, I called him and he’s on his way. He’ll work this in an informal capacity for now, since this is out of his jurisdiction. But Brian didn’t want anyone here to go in there without you or Michael. He was very insistent none of us even go in there until you got here.”
AJ’s eyebrows winged up. “Who gives a damn if he panicked? The cops need to come in on this shit.”
“It was easier to keep him calm this way, Age.”
“Well, the hell with that.” He was all for keeping Brian calm and helping make things easier for him, but there was a limit to that. Sometimes people were way too indulgent, to the point that it was more detrimental to Brian’s health than beneficial. How was he ever going to be able to move beyond something if everyone always just gave way to him? Privately, AJ admitted that he could be one of the most indulgent, but he also tried to help Brian stand up on his own two feet.
The rest of the car ride was silent, both of them thinking their own thoughts, yet the subject was the same. What were they going to do?
When the car pulled into the drive of the Littrell house, every other thought was wiped from AJ’s brain. He got out of the car, grabbed his bag, and made a beeline for the front door. It didn’t occur to him to bother knocking. They were expecting him. He just opened the front door, leaving it wide for Kevin to come in behind him, and strode right into the house. His eyes were all for the figure sitting hunched over on the loveseat.
The sound of the door opening didn’t even break through Brian’s trance. Neither did the sound of it closing. But someone said something, he didn’t know what it was, couldn’t hear them at all. It seemed to get Brian’s attention, though. He lifted his head, blank eyes not even focusing on the room. Like a magnet, those eyes seemed to be drawn to where AJ stood, bag still slung over his shoulder.
When they found him, AJ saw the blue clear a little, like a fog was lifting off the ocean. Suddenly they were focusing on him, actually seeing him. AJ saw the instant that Brian realized who he was looking at.
They were all shocked when Brian gasped, AJ’s name a tremble on his lips, and he rose shakily to his feet. The two men had no eyes for anyone but each other. AJ acted off instinct. He dropped his bag to the ground and close the distance between them in a few, short steps. Brian’s arms dropped from around his own body, swinging out to embrace AJ right as they met.
Like a calm in the center of a hurricane, they clung to one another. Brian whispered “Alex” over and over, as if he couldn’t quite believe he was there. Part of AJ marveled at the fact that Brian wasn’t only touching him, he was clinging tightly to him as if he was afraid to ever let him go. Then all surprise washed away and he only thought of holding him just as tightly.
Tears built in Brian’s eyes, tears he hadn’t been able to cry yet. AJ rubbed his back and pressed their cheeks together. “Shh, shh, I’m here now.” He whispered to him. “It’s going to be ok, I’m here.”
“He was in my house, Alex!” Brian whispered brokenly. Tremors ran through his whole body. “In my room!”
“I know, honey. I know. I won’t let him touch you again. Just shh now, I’m here and I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
“Don’t leave.” Those were the two sweetest words AJ had ever heard. “Don’t leave me.”
“Who said I was going anywhere, hm?” Pulling back, AJ smiled, all the love in his heart written plainly on his face. He didn’t even notice how the others watched him, marveling at them both. How Jackie reached out and took Harold’s hand, her lips trembling with a smile to see how much AJ loved her son. He didn’t see how Kevin smiled at them, thinking to himself how much the two had come to depend on one another and how strong AJ had become. A personal pillar of strength for Brian.
Raising his hand up, AJ stroked it down Brian’s cheek, needing to touch him, to make sure he was ok. “I don’t plan on going anywhere, Brian. I’m here and we’re going to take care of this, you hear me?” He made his face slightly sterner. “First and foremost, we’re calling the police. You’re a little fool, not letting anyone call them before this.”
It surprised everyone even more when Brian nodded and buried his face against AJ’s shoulder. Keeping one arm around him, AJ turned them so that they could walk. “Come on, let’s get you something to drink, maybe something to eat. Have you even eaten anything since this happened?”
“I wasn’t hungry.” Brian whispered. He kept his head tipped onto AJ’s shoulder, an arm around his waist as they headed to the kitchen, the others trailing behind them.
AJ scoffed. “Go figure. You eat barely enough to keep a bird alive, Bri, I swear. I’m supposed to be the skinny one, remember?”
A reluctant smile tugged at the corners of Brian’s lips. “I think I’m giving you a run for your money lately.” He admitted.
“Well, we’ll just have to fatten you back up, then, or else none of your clothes will fit. You’d be stuck wearing my skinny stuff.”
“We can’t have that.” Brian teased him. The teasing made AJ smile. “I’d shock everyone if I dressed like you, Alex. Imagine me in leather and animal print. The thought’s almost shudder worthy.”
“Hmm.” AJ paused in the kitchen, turning to look at Brian with a twinkle in his eye. He shook his head. “Now you’re just trying to distract me from feeding you by giving me naughty images. Best watch it, boy.”
Brian laughed softly. With a smirk, AJ let go of him and pointed to a spot on the floor. “Stay right there. I’m feeding you whether you like it or not.” He commanded. The laughter in his voice took the edge off the command. His heart did a little flip flop when Brian gave him a hesitant smile.
Pushing up his sleeves, AJ turned on the water faucet and got ready to wash his hands before finding Brian some food. He didn’t even think about it as he squirted soap on his hand and started to scrub.
“Alex…” Brian’s voice trembled a little as it came out. He was staring down at AJ’s arms. Curious, AJ paused as he rinsed the soap off his hands. “What, honey?” he asked.
“Your arms.”
Flabbergasted, AJ looked down at his arms. Then he saw what Brian was talking about. Long scratches marred his skin, some of them looking a little red around the edges. Oh. That. “It’s nothing, Bri. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry about it?” Life was coming back into Brian’s voice again, chasing away the shock that had come back at seeing AJ’s scratches. “You’ve scratched your arms up! Look at those, they’re already all red. What if you’ve got an infection setting in there? Have you even cleaned them up?”
He had, but looking at Brian’s face, AJ saw the opportunity for something. He shut off the water and moved to dry his hands, putting a sheepish expression on his face. “I haven’t thought about it.” He said, adding embarrassment to his tone. Just like he’d thought, life lit Brian’s eyes. Suddenly his love was moving, shaking his head. “You little fool.” He scolded, taking hold of AJ’s arm. “Sit down here at the table and let me go get the first aid kit.”
AJ dropped down into the chair, bowing his head down. “I’m fine, Bri. They don’t hurt that much.”
“Be quiet and just wait for me.”
When Brian left the room, AJ indulged in a small grin. He didn’t realize that anyone else was paying attention until he heard Jackie chuckle. His gaze shot up. It took everything he had not to wince when he saw Brian’s parents. He’d forgotten that they were in the room. “Uh, hey there.” He said. This time his embarrassment was real.
Jackie shook her head at him. “You know our boy well, don’t you?” She said fondly.
“I, ah. Hm.” It seemed safer not to say anything.
A surprised look crossed Kevin’s face as he looked between Jackie and AJ. “Wait a second.” He said slowly. “Your Mom wouldn’t let you leave those alone. You’ve cleaned them already, haven’t you?”
Defensive, AJ looked up. “So?”
“You lied to him.”
Laughing softly, Jackie waved a hand at her nephew. “He did, but it was a good lie.” She said cheerfully. “He gave Brian something to latch on to. Something to focus on that’s not himself. Brian has always done better in times of stress if he has others to care for.” Her smile turned toward AJ. “I’d say that Alexander knows that. “
Sheepishly, AJ looked down at his hands, saying nothing as Brian came back into the room. He kept quiet as Brian doctored his arms, scolding him all the while. It was enough just to hear Brian sound like he once had. While he did that, Jackie set about making some sandwiches.
But when Brian was done, AJ knew what he needed to do. He had to do what he told Brian he would. He’d go upstairs, in that room, and take a look. He wanted to look before anyone else arrived. Maybe he’d notice something they didn’t. Maybe. While he took care of that, Jackie would see that her son ate something.
He rose to his feet, the whole room suddenly gone quiet. Just as he started to move past the table, he hesitated, turning and laying a hand on Brian’s shoulder. The older man looked up at him, their eyes locking together. Not a word was spoken, but each one found themselves relaxing slightly. AJ gave him a brief smile before he turned and headed upstairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nausea rolled in AJ’s stomach. He looked around Brian’s room and had to hold in the urge to run and hit something. Or to run and find Zach and hit him. Over and over and over again. This was one sick, twisted son of a bitch. Roses were everywhere, artfully arranged. Some were in vases, some were spread out. The black and red seemed to blend together, creating the illusion of blood and death.
Sweet Jesus above. It was no wonder Brian had panicked. The fact that Brian was still coherent at all was amazing. Until he’d arrived, until he’d walked down to the room, it had all seemed like a dream for AJ. Just a vague threat. But now he was here and it was all right in front of his face. There was no denying it anymore. It was all too real.
He had to take a few deep breaths to regain his control. Part of him wanted to run out of the room and never look back. To pretend that this hadn’t happened. That there wasn’t some homicidal maniac stalker after the person he loved. But he couldn’t do that. There was no denying it. Running away wouldn’t make it go away. This needed to be dealt with head on and, right then, Brian was not in the best frame of mind to handle it. That meant that AJ had to.
That thought had him squaring his shoulders. Brian needed him to be strong right now. So, that’s what he was going to do. He’d be strong. He’d look at this and deal with it. The cops were going to be there any minute and he’d deal with them too. He’d act as the buffer between them and Brian.
The fear that had coiled in him was steadily transforming toward rage. Better to be pissed off than afraid. Anger, he could deal with. Anger was a good, strong sensation.
He tried to make sure he disturbed nothing as he looked around the room. There was no saying that he couldn’t take a look for himself, see if any little clues were left behind before the police arrived. It wasn’t like he planned on touching anything or disturbing the ‘crime scene’.
With a clearer head, little details were suddenly popping out at him. There was a picture of Brian and Kevin that had always sat on the dresser before. One where the two of them were goofing off, Brian having jumped up on Kevin’s back. The glass had been shattered and the frame broken. Underneath, AJ saw that an image had been glued over top of Kevin’s face. It only took one look to recognize the face.
The nausea came back. Holy shit. Zach had glued his face over top of Kevin’s. Shit.
Another picture, this one a group shot, had been ripped from its frame. This time Zach hadn’t pasted his image in. He’d simply torn out the part that had Brian. Where that was, AJ couldn’t see. It sickened him to realize that Zach had probably taken it with him. This man was insane.
AJ almost passed by Brian’s desk, but something drew his gaze to the paper lying there. It looked like a letter that had been folded up at one point. But it was laying open right there in the center of the desk, a vase of roses on either side. One black, one red.
Unable to resist, AJ stepped over, looking down at the letter. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to resist the temptation to pick it up. Instead, he settled for bending down and reading it.
My darling Brian,
I hope you like the gift I left for you. I wanted you to know that I’m still around and that I still think about you every single day. I can’t wait for the moment that we can be together again. You remember how beautiful it was, don’t you? The connection that was between us when we met? It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
You’re such a beautiful man. I love to watch you. Always so beautiful, so happy. I knew from the moment I saw you that we were meant to be together. You felt it too, didn’t you? I know you did.
There’ve been others in my life, but none of them could compare to you. None of them could ever hope to be even half the man that you are. Your beautiful eyes, your sweet smile. Your soul and my soul, twined together. That’s how it’s meant to be.
I left you these flowers so you’ll know that I’m thinking of you. That I love you and I can’t wait until we can be together again.
The last time I saw you, I think I scared you a little and I’m sorry for that. I was just so angry. What were you doing, hanging on those two? That one that looks like me and that other little freak? I thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now. That one, that AJ, he’s only going to hurt you, can’t you see that? Didn’t you see what he did that night at the party? How can you trust someone like that? But, then again, that’s part of who you are. You’re so trusting. I hate to shatter that trust, but someone has to do it. Someone has to show you the truth. So, I left you some photos. Let them show you the truth about this one you misguidedly call your friend.
Until we meet again, know that I’m thinking of you every moment of every day and I will love you always. Soon, when all obstacles are out of our way, we’ll be together, the way it was meant to be.
Yours, forever and always in love,
Zach
There was an envelope next to the paper, with the words “For You” written on the front. AJ stared at it, stomach churning. One hand slid from his pocket, slowly reaching out, inexorably getting closer. A deep voice stopped him, freezing him in his tracks.
“Don’t touch it.”
Without turning around, AJ registered the voice, knew it to be Brian and Nick’s cop friend, Micheal. He didn’t turn to look at him, though. His eyes were glued to that little envelope. “I need to see what’s in the envelope, Detective Loreil.”
“Well, now, we can see about that. But we need to keep your fingerprints off of there.” The man said calmly. AJ felt as Micheal walked up beside him. There was a rustling sound, followed by the snap of rubber as the detective pulled on his gloves. He surprised AJ by handing him a pair as well. When AJ looked up at him, the Detective’s eyes seemed to sparkle a little. “I doubt I’ll be able to keep you from touching it for too long. Might as well be safe.” He said equably. “Those boys have told me stories about you and your stubborn streak. I hear you can be worse than Brian, and I’ve never met a man more quietly stubborn than he is.”
That broke the tension enough for AJ to take the gloves and smile as he put them on. “That’s the difference, though. Brian’s quietly stubborn. He just does what he’s going to do and doesn’t bother arguing. I tend to…tell people what’s going to happen. Loudly and frequently.”
Micheal smiled again before switching gears. “You read that letter yet?”
“Yes, sir.” AJ took a deep breath, trying to force down his fear and nausea. “And I think I know what’s in the envelope.”
“Just Micheal will do. No matter how old I get, I still look for my dad every time someone calls me sir.”
Now that he was gloved, AJ couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He reached out with trembling hands and picked up the envelope. It wasn’t sealed, so he slid the flap open. Only the top half of the first picture showed, but it was enough to have AJ wincing. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling them out, or from looking through them. Picture after picture brought back memories of the night he wished he could forget.
Micheal’s voice was like a bee buzzing in his ear. Bile rose in the back of AJ’s throat as he moved through the pictures. There were lots of them, all from different angles, or the people in them in different positions. Seeing them brought the memories back with a startling clarity. In one, Coco the hooker was lying back on a couch with AJ perched over top of him. Both of them had their heads thrown back in pleasure. In another, AJ had the man bent over the bed, holding on to his hair, one hand against his back like he’d been scratching Coco.
But it was one about midway through that finally snapped AJ’s control. Coco sat on a chair, head tipped back, eyes closed and mouth open slightly. Kneeling on the ground, AJ had his head buried in the hookers lap.
The nausea swelled up so strong that AJ knew he wasn’t going to be able to control it. The pictures dropped out of his hand and he stepped back, one wrist going up to press against his mouth. He stumbled backward, toppling down and hitting the floor on his backside. Jesus. He tried to scramble up, to run and find the bathroom, but suddenly a wastebasket came into view, held in front of him by a pair of gloved hands.
AJ didn’t hesitate. He couldn’t keep it in anymore. Shifting, he knelt on the ground and held the trash can as his body heaved up everything inside of it. His back arched and his shoulders shook with the force.
A gentle hand cupped the back of his head, soothingly stroking his hair. The other gloved hand was still helping to hold the wastebasket in place. Tears built in AJ’s eyes, streaming down his cheeks. When he was finally done being sick, he felt Micheal take the basket away, moving to the door and murmuring to someone on the other side of it. From the tone of the response, AJ guessed that it was Jackie. Great. Brian’s mom was going to clean up a bucket of his puke. Wasn’t that just fantastic?
The door shut again and then Micheal’s hands were back. It took quite a bit control for AJ to not flinch back. No, no, he wouldn’t let himself get in that mindset. He wouldn’t. He needed to get this shit under control. Be strong, be strong he chanted inside his mind. For Brian. Be strong for Brian. This is about him. Don’t try and make it about you by freaking out. This is about him and dammit, you need to straighten up!
“If I’d know what was in those pictures, son, I wouldn’t have let you see them.” Micheal said apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
The nausea was still there, but AJ shoved it ruthlessly away. There was no time for it. He had no time to indulge in this. He wiped at his cheeks as he sat back on his heels, his chin coming up in a defiant way.
Micheal marveled as he watched the young man gather his composure around himself like a cloak. Despite the red rimmed eyes or the shining tracks left on his cheeks, this kid’s whole demeanor changed until he looked perfectly in control again. The jutting chin, the sharp flash to his eyes, the firm set to his mouth, all of those showed Micheal that this was someone with a sharp temper, one that could be dangerous if it exploded on them. But it also showed that he had a strong control.
The Detective’s appraisal went unnoticed by AJ. He was busy calming his mind and locking away all his fears. When he felt that he was fully under control again, he looked the man in the eyes. “Is there any statement I need to give? I’d like to get it done with and get back downstairs with Brian before the rest of the cops fill this house. They’ll just scare him.”
Admiration was in Micheal’s gaze. “No, we’ve already got the information we need on this from your lawyer. Might have a few follow up questions later, but we’ll deal with that when it comes.”
“Good.” On legs that were surprisingly steady, AJ rose to his feet. He took one final look around the room. “This son of a bitch isn’t going to lay one single fucking finger on him.” He swore softly. The words weren’t a threat. They were a promise.
Micheal laid a hand on his shoulder, his usually smiling face suddenly serious. “No, no he won’t. Not if we’ve got anything to say about it.”
In that moment, two men who barely knew one another were bonded by one common link: the need to protect Brian. They stood together and surveyed the room that this stalker had come into, seeing what he had done, and they were united in their opinions. Some friendships are made of years of getting to know one another, building memories together. But others are born of a common person. A common love.
Surrounded by this mockery of love, this insanity, the two men forged a bond of friendship without saying another word.