I don’t know the best way to describe the next few days to you guys. We’ve been trying to give a pretty accurate description of everything, Brian and I, but this part is a little hard for me. In a sense, I think I went just a tiny bit crazy. I might have gone full blown crazy if it wasn’t for Brian being with me. What I would do without that man in my life, I have no idea. He’s my calming force, my reason for going on. He was and is my salvation.
This part of the story is going to be hard for me to tell. It couldn’t rightly be told by Brian; this has to come from me. I hope to God that your image of me doesn’t change too drastically by the time you finish reading this part. The things I did here, I’m not proud of. Someone I loved a great deal had to pay the price for my stupidity. That is something I will live with until the end of my days. I accept full responsibility for it.
I know that sounds cryptic and I don’t mean it to. It’s just that I’m starting to jump ahead of myself. Soon enough you’ll understand why I say what I say. You’ll see the full extent of my folly and my shame. But for you to understand, I have to tell you what happened that faithful day. It was January 12th and Brian, Marc and I decided to head out for the day and try to spend a little time in the real world. A break, I convinced them, was apparently what we needed. Oh, how I wish we’d stayed home that day…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AJ was unable to wipe the grin off his face as they strolled down the streets of Nice. Starting out early that morning they’d taken a plane to the Nice airport and were now strolling the streets. AJ sighed as he linked arms with Brian. He’d been right. This was what they had needed. The days were starting to run together at the Chateau; all the information they were learning had started to bleed together into one.
Some of it leaked to the front of his mind as he watched Brian dart up to a little stand and start to haggle with the person there over a wide brimmed straw hat. AJ just leaned against a small wall and lit a smoke as he watched his lover.
They had processed so much information over the past, God, almost two weeks! He was beginning to think that he’d gathered all the information he was going to be able to via internet sources right now. AJ was afraid that it might be time to enter the real world soon. But he had to make sure he was going to do it for all the right reasons. That, if and when he got his information, it was only going to be in a quest for the truth and for things that were right, not for revenge. He didn’t want to set out with it in mind to destroy this man.
But that anger was building in him the more that he learned about Program Shadows. Aptly named. That was what he and those like him had been trained to be. Shadows. In and out without anyone knowing they’d been there. AJ could bring death in a million different forms. Instantly, or prolonged. Painless, or leaving them dying in agony. Obviously a murder, or a suicide, or death by ‘natural’ causes. All of it taught to them because of this one man.
Just thinking of Senator Allan Jameson brought up conflicting emotions in AJ. A part of him remembered being a small little boy with a need to belong and a desire to be a part of America; he remembered standing there as Jameson asked him if he would do anything to be a part of the country he loved. How kind he had looked. How wrong that image had proved. By the time AJ’s training had been done, he had recognized the hard eyes the man had, though he’d only seen him a total of three times while he was there. The day he joined, midway through, and the day he left.
The other part of him burned with a need to confront the Senator. Oh, he hadn’t been a Senator at the time. That had happened only six years ago. Apparently this year the Senator was up for reelection.
What tore at AJ the most were the questions that now plagued him as well as the suspicions he hadn’t been able to voice to anyone yet. How many of the jobs he’d done had been for his country or for the Senator’s personal agenda? AJ hadn’t been able to bring himself to research any of the deaths he knew he was responsible for.
Though it was dangerous, AJ knew he wouldn’t be able to move on with his life until he confronted the man who he saw as the root of all of this. The man who had taken him from his childhood and transformed him into the killer he was now. The man who had now ordered that he die.
Brian’s soft laughter drew him out of his melancholy thoughts only moments before Brian’s arm was sliding through his again. When AJ looked up, he saw that Brian was wearing the silly hat. It was easy to chase away the sad thoughts in his mind when he was faced with sparkling blue eyes. AJ flicked a finger over the brim of Brian’s hat. “It suits you, ma belle.” He teased him.
“You think so?”
“Oui.C'est magnifique.”
In public, neither one of them forgot the roles they were playing. Those roles were vital to their survival. Yet, at the same time, they were the easiest roles they’d ever played. It was a little hard for Brian to remember sometimes that AJ had a title here and that he ran by a different name. But beyond that, they didn’t have to hide their relationship anywhere that they went. He didn’t have to be anything but an American. In actuality, they were more open this way than they had been in their life before. The only difference for Brian was his different name. But, more often than not, AJ called him by pet names and not by his fake name.
Caught up in Brian’s happiness, AJ found himself relaxing once again. This was supposed to be his time to relax. With the one he loved on his arm and a good friend guarding his back, how could he stress? Marc would keep an eye on things for them. He stayed a discreet distance behind; always watchful.
Something caught AJ’s eye and he grinned. “This way, Tomas.” He said. “I see the Cours Saleya. You’ll love the market here.”
The two hurried into the famous Cours Saleya market, cruising up and down the stands that were out. There was everything a person could think of. Flowers, cooking items, produce, even fowl were sold there. In no time, AJ bought a couple of nectarines that he and Brian munched on as they moved along.
A stall toward the end held souvenirs, one of which had a Hermes scarf in it that AJ almost instantly fell in love with. It was coal in color; both cashmere and silk, and was listed at six hundred and forty five Euros. If there was one thing expected of a person in a French market it was that you haggle for what you buy, no matter who you were or what the price was. That was half the fun.
It was a half an hour later that they moved on from the stall, AJ wearing the scarf around his neck, he and the stall owner both pleased with the sale.
“J'ai faim.” AJ announced suddenly, looking around him.
Brian looked over; his brow furrowing as he thought about what AJ said and translated it in his mind. Then he smiled. “You know, I think I’m hungry too, honey. What do you recommend?”
“Somewhere I don’t have to be too formal. I’m not in the mood for too much pomp, oui?”
“Sounds good to me.”
It took a few minutes, but AJ finally found what he was looking for. A restaurant called Le Safari, which made some of the best pizza in Nice. They took their seats outside and were soon met with a server. The man held out his little pad as he asked what he could help them with that day.
“Avez-vous du vin ordinaire?” AJ asked him, tipping his head up slightly to look out from under his hat.
The waiter nodded his head. “Oui, monsieur.” He listed off a bottle of wine that AJ knew and liked.
“Deux verres, s'il vous plait. Je voudrais aussi laPizza Provencal.Merci beaucoup.”
After the waiter left, AJ looked across the small table at Brian and saw the smile there. “What?” he couldn’t help asking.
“What on earth did you just order for us, honey? I have no idea half of what you said except for ‘please’ and ‘thank you very much’. Otherwise, the rest of it went too fast.”
That had AJ laughing. “Sorry about that. I asked him if they had a house wine. He told me they do. So I asked for two glasses, please, and then I ordered the Pizza Provencal. That sum it up?”
“I’d do better if you slowed down a little. It’s just your accent, it’s so thick!”
“Well, the accent is natural for me, oui? I cannot help it.” He threw a wink to Brian, the joke passing between them and making them both smile. After that, it was easy to sit and talk of innocent things, simply enjoying the wine when it was delivered and then the pizza. The food was as delicious as AJ remembered and by the time they were done with it, the two of them were pleasantly full.
The two were relaxed when they rose from their table. AJ had paid their bill and they were ready to finish off their lazy afternoon. It was never meant to be.
A sudden weight connected with AJ’s back, sending him flying into the table and into Brian, knocking the both of them to the ground right as two sharp whistles rent the air. The sound registered instantly in AJ’s brain and he was already rolling when he hit the ground, arms wrapping around Brian to take him with him.
The weight that had hit him had been Marc trying to knock them out of the way. AJ kept the man’s weight against his back as the three of them rolled their bodies behind a table and near the front door of the pizza place.
One look down had AJ’s entire world shattering. In one large explosion, it all shattered, fragments drifting here and there. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. His eyes were focused on the slumped form of his good friend lying on the ground and the blood that poured out of Marc’s neck. The practical side of AJ logged away facts; half the man’s neck was gone. The light was already fading away from his eyes. From the neck down, Marc was still. The bullet had severed his spinal cord.
The impractical side of AJ, the side that was full of emotion, reared its head and pushed aside all reason. AJ bent and kissed the forehead of his very good friend, using two fingers to close Marc’s sightless eyes. Then he didn’t hesitate to grab the man’s wallet and all weapons on his person. He would have turned to start firing, but one other thing caught his eye. One thing that was guaranteed to snap him back to the present.
Brian crouched with him behind the table, just sheltered out of sight, one arm wrapped around his waist. The hand that was curled against his side was slowly turning red. Shit. “You’re hurt.” The words tumbled past AJ’s lips before he could think about it.
“It’s nothing.” Brian tried to say it calmly but it was ruined by the way his face went white and his lips tried to pinch together.
A new purpose gripped AJ. Nothing was more important than Brian. Nothing was more important than making sure his lover was taken care of. First and foremost was getting them out of the line of fire. Only when they were semi safe could he risk the time it would take to look at Brian’s wound. For now it was going to be simple field dressing.
That in mind, AJ snagged his old scarf from the bag he’d been carrying with him, the one he’d traded out for his new Hermes scarf, and he held it in his hand. No, not here. They couldn’t even risk it here. “I want you to listen to me and listen good.” AJ said fiercely. He gripped the front of Brian’s shirt and pulled their faces together. “You duck down low, crouch as best you can, and scurry straight in that door. I’m going to cover you. Do you hear me? I want you to move when I say move. Do not question me.”
Releasing Brian’s shirt, AJ grabbed hold of the gun that Marc had been carrying concealed in his coat and he brought it up, preparing to move and create cover.
“Now!” he shouted at Brian just as he brought himself up and spread a shower of bullets in the direction he’d figured the two shots had come from before. Once he heard Brian go through the door, AJ rose only slightly, still firing in the air, and dashed into the building. Shots echoed back at him, shattering the glass on the front of the building. People all around screamed from where they lay on the floor. In the distance, AJ heard the sounds of sirens starting. Shit.
Once inside he snagged Brian’s arm and darted back behind the counter, heading to the kitchen. It was empty in there; the people there must have run when they heard the gunfire. AJ pulled them toward a wall and yanked Brian’s shirt up, swatting his hand away. Curses built against his lips when he saw the blood that spilled down. They grew worse when he saw an entrance wound but not an exit wound. Shit. Shit! The bullet was still there.
They had no time to remove it right now. Not with what it would take out of Brian to do it. But if he kept bleeding like this, he’d never make it anywhere. AJ handed Brian the gun, ignoring the startled look in his eyes. “I need to bind you. Anyone comes in here looking mean, you shoot first, don’t bother asking questions. Understand?”
When Brian nodded, AJ went to work. He wrapped the scarf as tight as he could, apologizing as he heard Brian hiss in his breath. But he had it wrapped tight quickly enough and, when he dropped Brian’s shirt over it and traded out the old jacket with his, no one could tell that there was a wound there.
AJ didn’t hesitate any longer. He took the gun back from Brian’s hand, linked their free fingers, and pressed a hot, quick kiss against Brian’s lips. “I’ll get us the hell out of here and I’ll get you taken care of, love. I promise.”
“Just move. Now.” Brian answered softly.
That was all he needed. The two were racing out the back of the store. AJ’s eyes instantly traveled around them as they hit the open world; searching for any threats around them. He jerked Brian toward the left, moving to duck into an alley between two rows of homes. How the hell were they going to get out of here? A car was the most logical route. But to get one without being seen! What they needed was to get as far away from here as possible, no matter the means.
AJ started searching as they moved, keeping his eyes opened for what he might need. Just as they broke from the alley and out toward the street, police sirens echoed nearby. AJ looked down the road and saw the cops racing toward them. Oh, hell. He wasn’t taking any chances. If they weren’t coming for him, fine, but everything him told him that they were.
He looked frantically around and found the one thing he needed. A getaway. His feet slapped against the ground as he raised over the road, the cars gaining on them. Someone was just climbing onto their motorcycle. Breathing a prayer of forgiveness, AJ grabbed the man’s collar right as he started the bike and yanked him off, flinging him to the ground.
“Get on and hold on tight!” He shouted to Brian. As quickly as he sat down, Brian was sitting behind him, arms wrapping around his waist to hold on tight. AJ gunned the engine and they were flying down the road. He twisted around cars, leaning this way and that. Horns honked and pedestrians tried to dodge out of the way.
The cops were slowly gaining behind him. He was going to have to do something drastic. Ah, God, this was going to suck and it was going to hurt Brian quite a bit. “Hold on tight, honey!” AJ shouted back to him. “It’s about to get a little bumpy.”
He felt Brian’s hands tighten around him just in time. AJ whipped the bike to the ride, taking it up a grassy bank. He laid on the horn only seconds before the bike reached the edge of the bank and the top of the wall. For just a moment they were airborne, riding a few feet above the ground. People screamed and AJ prayed to God they’d get out of the way in time. Then he was bracing as the bike connected with the ground. He shot a foot out, adding balance as the bike skidded left and then right before he finally managed to straighten it.
The moan of pain in his ear made him want to stop the bike right then and there but he knew better than that. He took off down the road, twisting to take a right, then a left, then up another alley and out another street. Finally he darted around a car, down an alley, and straight alongside someone’s garage. There he parked the bike, pulling it back into the garage.
AJ pulled them around the edge of the wall just in time. Cops on bike shot down the alley, riding right past their hiding spot. AJ kept a finger over his lips, gesturing to Brian to keep silent. Then he listened, paying attention to the sound of the sirens. They were moving away from them. Further. A little further. There, they were almost gone.
Turning, AJ prepared to check his partner, but he saw an adult male standing at the entrance from the garage to the house. Instinct had AJ reaching for the gun at his waist.
The man held his hands up, shaking his head. “Je veux pas de mal.” He told them. “Je veux pas de mal.” I mean no harm.
It went against everything AJ had been taught as a child to trust this man here and now. But what he had learned as AJ, what Brian had taught him, had deeper roots in his heart. He couldn’t find anything about this man to inspire distrust. Cautiously he moved his hand away from his waist. “Mon ami est blesse.” My friend is injured, he told the man. It humbled him, but for Brian’s sake he knew he had to ask for help. “S'il vous plaît, nous avons besoin de l'aide.”
“Bien sûr! Bien sûr!” The man moved toward them now, his hands still held out kindly. “Voulez-vous laissez-moi vous aider, monsieur?” He asked Brian kindly. When he saw Brian’s dazed, slightly confused look, the man changed to a heavily accented English. “Let me help you, sir.”
AJ hated trusting anyone to touch Brian. But he knew he had to. This was their only hope of hiding. Still, he had to be up front. As he pulled Brian’s arm up and over his shoulders, AJ looked at the man standing before them. “La police are looking for us. The bike over there, we stole it to escape them. There is also a man who would find us. The same one that put this hole in my partner. He would not hesitate to harm you or yours, sir.”
The man looked at him for a long moment. Then he reached up and pressed a button that closed his garage door. “You both have kind eyes.” He said to them. “A man can judge another by what is behind his eyes. My wife and I, we have no fear. We will keep you till you can move on. Your friend, he will be treated here. You will be safe.” He smiled at them. “I am Jean and my wife, she is a fierce woman. Her name is Rosa and she is from Spain. We will help you.”
“Je suis Renatus. C'est Brian.” he returned.
As AJ helped Brian into the house, he learned that fierce was the right word for Rosa. Almost the instant they were through the door the dark haired, caramel skinned beauty in a brightly colored dress was demanding answers from her husband in a steady stream of Spanish and French both. The way she alternated between the two was almost mind boggling.
Yet even as she demanded answers, she was gesturing them up the stairs. “Go! Go!” she ordered in French before she switched over to Spanish once again. “Get that man lying down. He’s obviously wounded!”
“Doña Rosa.” AJ interrupted her. In fluent, perfectly accented Spanish, he asked her “My partner has been shot. Do you have a needle, thread, tweezers, and maybe some gloves? I also need alcohol and towels and anything that can be used as a bandage. Quickly, please!”
The woman looked at him a long moment before she gave a firm nod and darted from the room, her brightly colored skirts swishing with her passage. While she was gone, AJ and Jean moved Brian up the staircase and to what was obviously a guestroom. By the time they had Brian laid down, AJ saw that he wasn’t going to stay conscious much longer. That was fine. Any rest he could get now was going to be good. He’d need it. What they’d do soon was going to be painful enough to wake him.
When Rosa returned, she was bearing supplies in her arms. The efficient way she set up everything soothed AJ’s nerves some. She laid out a bowl on the stand nearest him, filling it with alcohol. Next to that she added a pair of gloves. In the alcohol she tossed a knife, a needle, and the thread. On the side of the bed she set gauze and surgical tape as well as an ace wrap. Perfect. “No tweezers, but a knife. It should do the job well.” She told him apologetically.
“Are you a nurse?” He asked her.
She shot him a bright smile. “In my home, I was a nurse because I was not allowed to be a doctor. I can treat most minor things.” Her smiled faded. “This, though, would be beyond me. You are a doctor?”
“After a fashion.” Hopefully good enough for what he needed to do here.
AJ distracted himself by moving to the bathroom to wash his hands. He kept an eye on Brian, watching as Rosa pulled the shirt and jacket away from Brian’s stomach. She didn’t untie the scarf, but waited for him to be ready before she did it. AJ had to force himself to blank his mind of everything but what needed doing as he scrubbed his hands up to his elbows.
The most important thing right now was that the bullet needed to come out. There was nothing more important than that. Beyond that, he couldn’t think right now. Couldn’t think of anything but taking that out of his lover and praying to God that Brian didn’t lose too much blood in the meantime.
When he came out, he looked at Rosa and Jean. “Are you two sure?” he had to ask one last time. “You don’t know us from another stranger on the street. If I start this here, I can’t move him till the middle of the night. That’s quite a commitment for two people you don’t know. Not only that, but if anyone finds out, you’ll be in trouble.”
The couple shared a brief look. “We help.” They said together, their voices firm.
Rosa hurried over to where the gloves were, pulling them on over AJ’s hands so he didn’t have to touch anything. Then she surprised him by pulling a thick apron over his head and tying it around his waist. It was the kind used when doing work such as butchering. That didn’t present a positive image in AJ’s head.
He took one last look at Brian’s face as Rosa gathered the knife for him and brought it over. Her voice sounded in his ears, their words meaningless. When he saw Jean move to sit on the bed and hold Brian’s upper half down, AJ knew what he was doing. Thank God.
The knife in his hand trembled for just a moment. “Remove the scarf.” He told her. Despite his own fear, the words were steady.
When she removed the scarf, AJ didn’t waste time. He knelt beside the bed, right alongside Brian’s injured side, and braced his arm and elbow over Brian’s waist. Thank God he was right-handed. This position left his right hand open. “Please forgive me.” AJ said softly before he pushed the knife down into the wound.
He felt when Brian started to come out of unconsciousness. Felt the first twitch of his body. “Hold him!” he snapped. “He’s coming to!”
He tried to move quicker, pushing the knife down in and trying to hook it underneath the bullet. If he could just fish the damn thing out before Brian woke up! But the knife slid around and he had to be so damn careful not to cut anything as he did this. A moan slid past Brian’s lips, growing as the knife moved again. His body twitched even harder this time.
AJ gritted his teeth and tried to keep pressure on Brian with one arm while using his other to dig around. Just as AJ hooked the bullet and started to slide it up, Brian let loose with a hoarse scream.
“I know, I know, I’ve got it. It’s coming, honey. It’s almost out.” AJ didn’t even realize he was talking as he pulled the knife up higher and higher. The bullet came out with a squelching sound, barely able to be heard over Brian’s cries and AJ’s endless reassurance. AJ tossed the bullet onto the dresser top, along with the knife. Before he could snap for the alcohol, Rosa already had it there.
AJ held the bottle in his hand and looked at his lover’s anguished face. It broke his heart to know that what he was going to do was going to cause him even more pain. “Grit your teeth, baby. This is going to hurt. A lot.” He warned. Then he was pouring alcohol over the wound.
The scream that ripped past Brian’s lips in the second before Jean covered his mouth was enough to rip at AJ’s heart and soul. He shuddered as he kept up his work until he knew that the wound was clean. He felt Brian’s body slump just as he tipped the bottle up straight. Oh thank God. Brian had passed out again! It was better for him this way. The less he felt, the better.
Tears ran unnoticed down AJ’s cheeks, though his hands stayed steady as he took the needle form Rosa and stitched shut the wound. When it was closed and the wound was properly packed, he left her to bandage it closed and he went to the bathroom, throwing his gloves in the garbage and washing off his hands.
The sight of blood on the apron had AJ yanking if off and throwing it at the shower. He didn’t want anything on him that had Brian’s blood on it.
Once his skin was clean, he braced his hands on the edge of the sink and bowed his head. That had been one of the most difficult things he had ever done. All at once the day’s events seemed to catch up with him. He had lost a good friend today. He had almost lost the most important man in his life. Things were getting very serious, very fast.
“Renatus?” A soft voice said behind him. AJ turned his head to find Jean standing in the doorway of the bathroom. “We’ve moved your Tomas to a clean bed. You should go and rest with him. I swear to you, we keep you safe while you rest and we wake you if we see trouble. You need sleep.”
Yes, he needed sleep. Amazingly, his mind numb, AJ allowed Jean to lead him to bed. And when he was tucked in beside Brian, he gave himself up to the exhaustion dragging at his body without a single care in the world for their safety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing though it was, I did completely pass out right there with Brian. Too much had been done to the both of us that day. Too many things at one time. The attack, the loss of someone so close to me, the run, the surgery on Brian; it was just too much. We couldn’t handle it. So the two of us slept. And even more amazingly, Jean and Rose were good to their word, keeping us safe in their home as the day grew toward night, letting us sleep almost an entire day away.
When midnight came around, Brian and I were awake. Though sore, Brian was just as ready to move as I was. So Jean helped us dress in some of his old clothes, which Rosa had altered for us while we slept. Then they helped smuggle us in their car down to the airport, where Brian and I caught my private jet back to the Chateau.
Our cover hadn’t been blown. It had simply been that we had been spotted in a place I’d frequented before. Stupid, idiotic me, I hadn’t thought that they’d know that place. But I had visited there as AJ more than once, while we were touring, and so that blew the area for me. But they still didn’t know about my cover or my Chateau.
So we went back there and Brian took two weeks to heal up as best as possible from the shot. He wasn’t in tip top shape when we decided to move on again, but he was well enough to handle the vigor of travel. In that time, we made a decision. All those long nights lying in bed talking to one another, we decided that we were going back to America.
We were going home.