To the outside observer, this story must almost sound like just that, a story. Something that has no possible way of being true. Yet it is. Brian and I lived every single moment of it. You think that some of it seems farfetched and that may be so. Maybe it looks that way. But it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t true. This is what we lived through. This is the life we were stuck inside of. What purpose would we have to lie? Think on that. Our friends—if you’re reading this—would be the first to tell anyone that Brian and I are not the type to try to claim credit for something that wasn’t true.
Though, guys, I understand if you feel that you can’t trust me right at the moment. Maybe you feel that you can’t trust my words, seeing as how I lied to you for so long. I understand and accept that. But you all know that the last thing someone could call Brian would be a liar. He is far from it.
Please keep all that in mind as we tell you what happened next. This part has to come from me, as I was the one who lived this piece of things and only I can accurately tell this story with the details it needs. Please bear in mind that I never lied to you but when I had to. Can you see that? Can you understand what I’ve told you and see why I did what I did? Why I lived the way I did?
I’m diverting myself here. Instead of telling the story, I’m pleading my case. That wasn’t my intention. But this part of the story may seem a little unbelievable to you all and I wanted to try and plead with you to understand and to believe me. I hope that you do.
Brian and I headed downtown in LA, trying to find out information. But we didn’t realize that people were following our moves closely. Not until we found ourselves running for our lives. I don’t feel the need to tell you how the chase started, or how it was progressing. This part of the story starts on the outskirts of a forest park. I knew the people chasing us were going to catch us. I don’t want to tell how we ended up so close to being caught. I can’t bring myself to tell you. So let me start this part with telling you that I was going to do everything in my power to keep Brian safe…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Shit, shit.” AJ swore. All at once AJ saw what was closing around them and he saw what he had to do. There was only one option open to him. Either he did this, or Brian would be hurt. Brian would be taken and hurt or killed or hurt and then killed. In that instant, AJ made his decision. He pushed his gun into Brian’s hand and grabbed him close for one fierce kiss. Then he shoved him. “Get to the safe spot. Wait for me. No more than three days. Go!” Then he pushed Brian one last time, pushing him away.
Spinning, AJ grabbed his other gun from his shoe and took off in the opposite direction of Brian. He knew his lover would be cursing him right now but he also knew that Brian would do as ordered. These people were after AJ. They wouldn’t go chase down Brian. They would come after AJ. If they stuck together, they’d both be caught. But if AJ did this, Brian could get free. Alone, AJ had a better chance of escaping, once he was caught.
Caught he would be, there was no doubt about that. His mind had already seen what their options were and seen that there was no escape together. So he saved the one person that was the most important. Brian.
When AJ reached the trees he spun slightly while he ran, taking a few shots at the figures coming up behind him. There was no hope of outrunning them. None at all. All he could do was pray that Brian had got safely away. That was the last coherent thought in his head when a figure stepped out in front of him and a tree limb connected with his head. Then darkness closed in.
~~~~~~~~~
Blood pooled in AJ’s mouth. He spit it out, trying to keep his airways clear. Even as he did he felt hands grabbing at his arms, yanking him back up off the floor. A meaty hand grabbed his chin, forcing his head up so that he was looking into the face of his torturer. “Listen here, little boy.” The man snarled at him. “You’re going to answer our questions now. You’re going to tell us every damn thing we want to know.”
It was easy for AJ to stare blandly into the man’s eyes. They thought this was bad? He had been through so much worse and at a younger age as well. There was no torture they could give him that he hadn’t survived through before. This guy wasn’t even creative at the moment. A few fists, a few kicks; what was that to someone like him? He’d been trained to live through so much worse.
Ever since he had awakened on the floor of a warehouse, this beating had started. What exactly it was he was supposed to be answering, he wasn’t sure. The bruiser hadn’t even really asked him anything. Though, AJ wasn’t paying that much attention. But he knew he wasn’t going to give up anything.
The man grew even more furious at AJ’s lack of response. He slammed AJ down at the same time that he raised his knee, connecting it with AJ’s gut. He followed that with a shove to the ground where he jumped down to straddle AJ. Twice he punched his face before someone called out a soft command.
Mr. Muscles lifted AJ back to his feet. With practice born of discipline, AJ stood steady on his feet when he was released. Just to irritate, he let a corner of his mouth curve slightly.
Standing a few feet away was a man dressed in an impeccable suit that was most definitely tailored to him and made of very expensive material. He’d been standing against the wall, hiding really, for a little while now. It had taken AJ all of ten seconds to look the man over--from his fancy shoes, up his Italian suit and to his calm, smiling face--and figure out that this was the man in charge.
“Enough, Eduardo.” The man said in a smooth, cultured voice. “You progress this way and he will not be able to speak to us, yes?” Then he turned his eyes to AJ; eyes that were the color of emeralds and held the potential to be just as hard. “Please, forgive my manners for not introducing myself when I entered. My name is Felipe Samera. And you, my friend, are AJ Mclean, yes?”
Now this was a person worth talking to. Maybe, just maybe, he could get the right kind of information out of Felipe Samera so that this trip wasn’t a total waste. “If that is what you chose to call me by, yes. It is a name I use on occasion.” AJ kept his normal voice but spoke with just as much culture as Mr. Samera was.
The smile that curved Felipe’s lips was honest, but it was sharp. “Then that is what we shall use. Now, I am being told that you have refused to talk to us so far. Yet I find that you answer my question right as it is asked. I find this strange.”
“Do you?” Despite the handcuffs on his wrists, holding his hands behind his back, and despite the pain that wanted to radiate in every inch of him, AJ stood straighter. He quirked an eyebrow, mindless of the blood that seeped down that side of his face. “I don’t. It is rather simple, really.” AJ let his own lips curve. “You asked.”
For a single moment Felipe stood and stared at him. Then he threw his head back and laughed. “Ah, but you’re a refreshing individual, Mister AJ.” He said when his mirth subsided. “Quite an interesting one as well. On the surface, you seem nothing more than the average pop star that has been inflicted on the world. Kind of like a plague, I would say.”
AJ shrugged. “We all serve our purpose.”
“True. And yet, what would a Senator want with a pop icon?” Felipe asked curiously. Those words set off warning bells inside of AJ’s mind. Senator. There was only one Senator that he could think of that would want to come after him. Senator Allen. He kept his face calm while his mind raced. Felipe continued talking. “That alone was enough to make me curious. Then, the amount of money he paid to not only have you found, but disposed of. We took the money, of course, and yet I found myself wanting to know more before I did the dirty work of a dirty Senator. So I sought to question you. Yet what do I find?”
There was no safe answer to that, so AJ settled for staying still, meeting Felipe’s gaze with a calm stare. Give away nothing. That was the motto.
Felipe smiled again. “I find a man who is running with a partner. A man who was smart enough to know he would get caught and sacrificed himself to save his partner. A partner, I might add, who has not been found, despite my resources. Which are quite extensive, I assure you.”
That gave AJ a small light of hope. Thank God. They hadn’t found Brian.
“Then, once you are brought to us, I find you even more interesting. There are very few men who can withstand answering Eduardo when he wants to know something. Even fewer who can not only refrain from answering, but keep entirely silent. Not a scream, not a plea. Nothing. In fact, from what little I watched before interrupting, it looked to me like you were actually capable a time or two of defending yourself and yet you did not. All of this, I find strange.”
Conversation had carried Felipe slowly closer and closer. He stood now, a foot in front of AJ, his face curious. “So I wonder, Mister AJ, what exactly you are. You are no simple pop star, to be sure. What has a Senator after you?”
Looking into the eyes of one of the United States biggest Mob bosses, AJ smiled. “Which question would you like answered first? They are all, in a way, tied together.”
“In whichever order you deem best.”
“Well, simply put, Signor Felipe, the Senator that is after me? He made me what I am. It is a choice he now regrets.”
The look that Felipe suddenly wore told AJ more than any words could have. Felipe had heard of what Senator Allen had done. He knew the kind of people he had made. Or, at least, knew the rumors of such. That thought was confirmed when Felipe turned to look at Eduardo. “You may go to the side of the room. Your questioning will not be needed anymore.” His eyes slanted to AJ. “What I know of what he is, if it’s true, tells me that you will not break him. Ever.”
It was more than AJ could resist to turn and look at Eduardo with a wide grin. He knew his smile was filled with blood; could feel it running down his chin. That just made it all the more chilling. Once Eduardo had moved to the wall, AJ looked back over at Felipe. “He really is a talented man.” He admitted. “On any other person, it would have worked.”
“And so it has, many times before. Yet not with you.”
“He has done nothing that hasn’t been done before by those more talented than he.”
Felipe conceded this point with a nod. “I feel there is much of a story to be told here.”
Nothing was visible on AJ’s face. He kept the calm mask in place. “Yes.” Keeping the answer simple was best until he decided how to work this situation. But his basic answer had Felipe cocking his head to the side with a slight smile. “You will not tell me this story?” The man asked.
“Much of the story isn’t my own to tell.” AJ explained slowly. His instincts told him that he wasn’t going to get out of here calmly and easily unless he gave this man something. What that something was, he wasn’t quite sure yet. Now that the man knew who he was, which side would he fall on? Would he keep the Senator’s money and do the job he’d been paid to do? Would he see AJ as an ally he could gain and use? AJ refused to kill for anyone again. That was the life he was fighting to free himself from. He would not involve himself and Brian in these kind of schemes. But what else would Felipe want from him?
Felipe’s thoughts were apparently running parallel to his. “I think that you and I might be of service to one another, Mister AJ.” He said slowly, that sharks smile growing a little more.
Despite knowing that it could get him killed, AJ straightened his spine and let his eyes take on the hard, dead look that had terrified so many people. He knew what that look did to someone he trapped with his gaze. “I refuse to hire my ‘services’ to another individual, Signor Felipe. Not even one as noble as yourself.”
“But you hold no qualms in killing for the cause of a politician who is dirtier than I shall ever be?”
Something in the way Felipe said the word politician gave away a little of his sentiments towards the Senator. So, here was yet another person that the Senator had pissed off in his life. Interesting. That fact could definitely work in AJ’s favor. Any information could be used and exploited.
AJ made a snap decision that he prayed wouldn’t end with him floating in the ocean somewhere, or dropped off with cinder blocks tied to his ankles. “You presume much, Signor Felipe.” He said with a dry chuckle. “You think you understand but you do not. I do not work for the Senator at this current moment. If I did, do you think he would have hired you to do his dirty work? Maybe I should be the one asking if you have any qualms working for a Senator who so obviously has no use for you beyond having you do his dirty work for you.”
A flash of anger stole into Felipe’s eyes for only a moment before his control was back. “I would not say I have no qualms. More that, the Senator has the proper incentive to motivate one such as myself. In ways that do not simply involve monetary gain.”
Ah. That explained quite a bit. The Senator was blackmailing them, for lack of better terms. Incentive meant that he had something on them, most likely information, and he wouldn’t hesitate to use it against them if they didn’t do as he said. That fit in perfectly with the plan that was forming in AJ’s mind.
He licked his lips, knowing that it would send a shiver down Felipe’s back. When a beaten man stood calmly before you, blood covering his face and his mouth, and he licks his lips and smiles, how could it not give you a small shiver of terror?
“I think the incentive I have may be greater than the one the Senator possesses.” AJ told him as he let his smile grow. “Might we sit somewhere a little more civilized and discuss this? I shall not protest to the handcuffs, but I would much prefer a chair and perchance a glass of brandy. I prefer to discuss business with a little more decorum than this certain situation shows.”
His comment startled Felipe, but only for a moment. There was a reason this man was the biggest Mob boss the United States had seen. He was like a chameleon, capable of adapting to multiple situations as needed. In that way, he and AJ were quite a bit alike.
Felipe must have seen something in AJ’s face he approved of. He pulled out a pair of keys, stepping behind AJ to unlock the cuffs without a word. Mr. Muscles was still by the wall, but he pulled his gun and held it steady on AJ as the cuffs were undone. Felipe released them, letting them drop to the ground before he stepped back around AJ. “You understand the necessity of the gun, yes?” He said casually.
Inclining his head, AJ looked over to the man. “I do, though I doubt its efficiency. But, we are in your home, so to speak. I will of course comply with your wishes in this man. I do not seek to make you uncomfortable.”
“Quite so.” Felipe seemed pleased by his answer. He gestured for AJ to follow him and the two men left the warehouse room they were in.
He was led across a dark, empty parking lot and into another building. This one was much more formal. It definitely had the feel of an office to it. Once inside, AJ was led up a staircase, down a hall, and finally into a room that he knew was Felipe’s office. For this location, at least.
Felipe moved to a sideboard, pressing a button on a small box sitting there. “Denise, would you bring a bowl of water and a few rags, please? My friend here is in need of cleaning up.” When he let go he gave AJ a smile. “She shall bring those in directly. Please, have a seat. Brandy, you said, correct?”
“That would be wonderful. Thank you.” AJ sat in one of the stuffed armchairs in front of the desk, smiling at his host as Felipe brought over two glasses and set one down in front of him before taking his own and sitting in the chair behind the desk.
There was a discreet knock and then a woman came in, bearing a cart with a bowl of water and rags on the top. AJ thanked her when she brought it beside him and then took a moment to wash his face. It made him feel wonderful to get all the drying blood off. Only when his face and hands were totally clean did he sit back down and pick up his glass. The woman silently took the cart away.
When the door was shut, Felipe gave AJ a wide smile. “Now, down to business. I am not one who, how is it said? Ah, yes. One who pussyfoots around the subject.”
“I can appreciate that. Too many men cloak their business under hours of idle chatter.” AJ said easily. He sipped off the brandy, giving it an appreciative look. Then he lifted his gaze back to the deadly man across from him. “I think you and I could work out something that would benefit the both of us.”
“That depends on what it is you think I would do for you. Or what makes you even think I should do anything for you.”
AJ let his grin grow. “Because, if you do this one favor for me, the favor I’ll grant in return is much, much greater.”
The room stayed silent for a moment. Felipe sipped his brandy, watching AJ with a close eye. Finally he said “I’m listening.”
Before he even began speaking, AJ knew he had this. He knew Felipe wouldn’t be able to resist what it was he was offering. “What I need from you is for you to let the Senator think that you succeeded. Let him think I’m dead.” There it was, put bluntly.
“And in return?” Felipe asked. He didn’t seem the least bit surprised by AJ’s request. Most likely, he wasn’t. His quick mind probably already saw what was going on here.
It was almost fun to play the game anyways. AJ took another sip from his drink, licking his lips as he set the glass back down. “May I speak frankly in here?”
“You may. I do not allow my office to be, ah, bugged, so they term it.”
“Very good. Then, in frank terms, in return, I will kill the Senator for you. Though, that already factored into my plan, even before you found me. Though I imagine you must have already at least suspected that. Else why would he have wanted me dead so badly, yes?”
Felipe leaned back, hiding a soft smile behind his drink. “Indeed.”
“And, running off the assumption that you did, indeed, know that I plan on killing the Senator,” AJ leaned back as well, crossing his legs. “then I would say it is a safe assumption that my ‘plan’, as it were, was something you had already thought of. This is most likely why I’m not dead already and why my partner is still alive.”
Silence hung over the room for just a breath and then Felipe let out a warm laugh. His eyes warmed up considerably and his smile relaxed. “I knew you were an intelligent individual.” He exclaimed. “If I didn’t feel that it was pointless, I would try my upmost to recruit you. Minds like yours would work well in a business like mine.”
“We all have our place in life.” AJ said with a nonchalant shrug. “This place isn’t mine.” Here he let the playful demeanor drop, some of his hardness seeping back in. He leveled his gaze on Felipe. “Do not doubt, I will hold up my end of the bargain. The Senator made a mistake in making me the person that I now am. He made a grave mistake in letting me discover the truth. That is a mistake he shall pay for with his life.”
“You are confident in your abilities?”
“I have never failed before.” But AJ knew what Felipe was asking for. Something to reassure him that AJ was, indeed, good at what he did. Something to show that he was right in putting his faith in this assassin. He’d been prepared for that since he’d concocted this plan in his mind and he knew the one thing that would show his abilities. “Gautier.” He said softly.
Felipe’s eyes widened only fractionally before he got his expression under control. “You?” Just the one word, but in it was a wealth of surprise.
The soft smile and nod that AJ gave was answer enough. Gautier was the name of one of the top ranking Mob bosses that had once ran France. No one had been able to compare to him. He’d been slowly expanding his control, reaching out to other countries. Later, AJ had learned that Gautier had been on every hit list all over the world and had been the target of multiple failed assassination attempts. The man had been termed ‘untouchable’. Four years earlier, his name had appeared on AJ’s assignment screen. Luckily, AJ had been free at the time to travel.
It had taken him three days to simply infiltrate the security around the man. His orders were for the death to be messy so that there was no doubt that he had been assassinated. It wasn’t supposed to be termed accidental or natural causes. The orders had stated that this was to appear exactly as it was; a murder. The job had been hard and it had been messy. It had been one of the most difficult that AJ had done, but not for reasons of security. It had been difficult inside of his mind. Not that the man hadn’t deserved to die; he had. Many times over. The things he’d been responsible for were horrendous. But it had still been hard for AJ to stomach that much blood.
He looked at Felipe, his expression the one he wore when he worked. Blank, empty. Hard. “Three days it took me to reach him. I carried no food; only water. When I reached his office, well, you know the death he had. Every member of... businesses like yours knows what happened to him. But, to show you I’m not lying, to give you information to prove my claim as best as possible, I will tell you one thing I know that the world wouldn’t know. Only those with eyes inside would know of the toes that were severed from his right foot—the first two toes—and later delivered to his competitors doorstep.”
A soft prayer slipped past Felipe’s lips. All at once his demeanor changed. Any doubt that had been there before was now gone. Just that simply he now knew what AJ was capable of. It earned him respect, but also a small measure of fear. That was fine. It meant AJ was more likely to be safe in this. When people in this business feared you just a little, it gave you a small safety zone.
“My one service in exchange for yours, yes?” Felipe said, rising from his chair. He extended his hand.
Reaching out, AJ took the man’s hand in his own and smiled at him. “It is a pleasure doing business with you.”
“You know what the Senator will require for proof.” Felipe told him softly.
AJ’s resolve didn’t waver. He knew this lifestyle here and knew what would be expected. With a steady gaze, he nodded at the other man, telling himself all the while that it would be worth it. If the Senator was convinced that AJ was dead, it would make his job so much easier. So, with a single nod, he committed himself. There was no going back.
~~~~~~~~~~
And so it was I struck a deal with a hardened criminal. That night a package was delivered to Senator Allen. I have it on good faith that the Senator took the package into his den and opened it in private, away from all prying eyes. There, he opened the small box and smiled at what he saw inside. He smiled when he closed it and even later as he disposed of it.
Also that night, I was back at the safe house, back in the arms of my lover as he tended to me, yelling furiously even as his hands gently bandaged the wound on my hand. Even as he kissed me and swore that if I ever did anything so stupid ever again, he would be the one to kill me, he still wrapped his loving arms around me and held me close.
I had to explain to him that it was the only way. I know you’re wondering what that ‘way’ is. Or maybe you’ve guessed it after my story of Gautier. If you’re reading this, Tobias, I know that you already know the answer to this. After a meeting (which comes later on in my story to you, my friends) you know the truth of what happened here. But allow me a moment to explain it to the rest who don’t know.
In this world, there is one way that guarantees proof of death. You’ve seen it in movies and you heard it in my story of Gautier. The person who orders the hit generally wants proof so that he knows the people he hired aren’t lying to him. We had to make this as believable as possible.
So, before I left the office that day, Felipe took me to the one person he had who specialized in something like this. Between us, we debated what needed to be done, what would be appropriate, and then when the decision was reached, we acted on it. I willingly laid my hand on the table and allowed the professional to take off my left pinky finger. It was the most logical, as it was the one that was least used. But it was identifiable as mine because of the tattoo on it.
It took me a bit of practice to learn how to do things without it, but I’ve found I haven’t lost any of my skills. Now, it is simply a part of me. There are still times, though, where Brian holds my hand and kisses the skin where it used to be. Even now he’s glaring at me, hating the reminder of this.
To survive, to complete my mission, I did what I had to do. In the grand scheme of it all, what was a single finger in comparison to my life or to Brian’s life? I would do it again, or so much more, if it meant that I keep Brian alive.
I would rather lose a finger than lose my heart.