He couldn’t believe it. Brian stared at the face in front of him, unable to comprehend when it had become a stranger to him. When had everything changed? If someone has asked him even an hour ago if he ever thought that his lover would turn on him, he would have answered no without hesitation. Yet here they were, staring at one another, angry words hanging between them. What had happened to them?
“I told you, Nick. Nothing happened.” Brian tried once again to explain.
If anything, Nick’s face grew harder. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Brian. Don’t you dare fucking lie to me. I know what I saw!”
“What you saw? There was nothing to see!” Yet Brian’s words seemed to fall on deaf ears. He knew that Nick wasn’t listening to him. That he was beyond even trying to listen. But still Brian had to try. He had to make his lover understand that what he thought he had seen was wrong. That it was all a huge misunderstanding.
Only fifteen minutes ago things had been so different. Brian had stepped off the elevator and into the hallway where all their rooms were. As he’d passed one room, he’d heard cursing followed by a crash. For a single moment he’d hesitated, wondering what the hell it was, but then another crash and louder cursing had made up his mind for him. He’d darted into the room.
Inside, he found chaos. AJ had stood in the center of the room, his suitcase on the ground nearby, clothes strewn out everywhere. But more than anything, the look on AJ’s face had pulled Brian further into the room. He hadn’t been able to step away from him. There was anguish written there, plain as day, and something that rarely anyone saw; vulnerability.
“Alex?” He’d called out to him. That was all it had taken to draw AJ’s attention.
Though the fans didn’t know it, Brian and AJ were close. Beyond being just friends; more like brothers. They looked out for one another, laughed together, vented with each other. When stress came down, they were safe harbors for each other. Exactly what brothers should be. So when AJ had seen it was Brian in the room with him, he hadn’t pretended to be ok. He didn’t put on a front and act like nothing was wrong. No, he broke.
Two steps had brought Brian to his friend. Then he was holding him, letting him break a little. Letting him cry on his shoulder. After a while, AJ had spoken through the tears. “Charlie…he left. He left me.” The broken whisper had torn at Brian’s heart. “His dad, he…he found out and he threatened him. Told him he had to break it off with me. Charlie says he didn’t want to, that he had to. But he didn’t have the balls to stand up to his dad, Bri. He just gave in and left me.”
“Oh, honey.” Brian hadn’t been able to resist crooning to his friend. Charlie was AJ’s boyfriend, something that the fans definitely didn’t know, something the other band members didn’t know, and there was no one that had ever made AJ so happy. Brian knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that AJ was madly in love with Charlie. Every time he spoke of him, his eyes would light up and he’d get a smile a mile wide on his face.
Now his strong friend was broken. Brian rocked him, trying to think of a way to soothe. Trying to think how to help. “Alex, you love him, right?” He’d finally asked. AJ had instantly responded. “Of course!”
“Then why are you just standing here, letting this happen?”
When AJ had pulled back, set to rant, Brian had given him a smile and cupped his face between his hands. “Alexander James Mclean, if you love this man, don’t let his dad win. If you want him, go and fight for him.”
“Fight for him? But…the tour…”
“We’re up on a three day break, Alex. Fly out there, right now. Right this minute. Go after him! Don’t let his dad win this. If you want him, go out there and fight for him.”
That had been the right thing to say. The thing to spark a little life back into AJ. The two men had thrown things into a bag and Brian had ushered AJ from his room, promising to take care of things on this end and making AJ promise to call him as soon as he got things figured out. Right before he’d left, in the middle of the hallway, AJ had grabbed Brian’s between his hands and planted a loud, smacking kiss right on his lips. Then he’d turned and darted off to the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.
When Brian had looked up, laughing, he’d seen his boyfriend standing by the elevators, murder on his face.
They still stood in the hallway now, endless angry words exchanged. Every part of Brian ached, inside and out. “Why don’t you trust me, Nick?” he whispered brokenly.
Nick just looked furious. The pain inside was too strong for Brian to see the hurt in his lover’s eyes. “Why the hell can’t you tell me the truth, Brian? Why was he kissing you?”
“He was thanking me! That’s how Alex is, you know him. He’s all about spontaneous displays of love. He’s like a brother to me, Nick! That’s all!”
“Yeah, well, he’s been like one to me too and he’s never kissed me on the lips. What would have him ‘thanking’ you like that anyways?”
Here was where it was difficult. “I helped him out with a relationship, so to speak.” He couldn’t give more details because that wasn’t his secret to share. But the half-truth was enough to make Nick think he was lying. He watched, heart breaking, as Nick glared at him. “I give up.” The young man finally swore. One hand came up, pushing his hair back from his face. “Get the hell away from me, Bri. The last person I want to see right now is you. Come back later when you’re ready to tell me the fucking truth.”
All Brian could do was watch as his boyfriend stormed away. His heart ached down in his chest, throbbing, sending out waves of pain. He couldn’t stay here with their angry words echoing back to him. He couldn’t go to his room; Nick was there. He couldn’t even go find one of the other guys. The last thing he needed was their comforting words washing over him, making him break.
Somehow he found himself moving, walking. Where, he didn’t know. All he knew was he had to get out of there. He had to go somewhere that their whole conversation wasn’t echoing around him, taunting and mocking him. So he went downstairs, past the front desk. His feet carried him outside. Only there did he stop and think about where he was. About where he was going.
He looked at the diner across the street. Maybe he’d go there a while, drink some coffee, and wait for himself and Nick to both cool off. Maybe then they’d be able to talk. Maybe then Nick would be able to chase away the pain he’d put in Brian’s heart. Why had he doubted him? Why had he just assumed that the kiss from AJ had been romantic? He hadn’t even wanted to listen!
Brian bit his lip, trying to stop those thoughts from continuing. He moved over to the crosswalk, waiting until the light changed before he started to cross. He stared at his feet as he walked, trying to fight back tears, trying to keep himself under control.
He never heard the squeal of brakes. But he did hear the loud scream rent the air only seconds before his entire world exploded with pain. There was some sickening sound and then he was hitting the ground. More screams filled the air. Lying on his back, staring up at the sky, Brian couldn’t help but wonder if the day could get any worse. Then he thought nothing more as he was sucked down into unconsciousness.