Brian had headed back into the hospital room with his parents, intending on letting them say hi to AJ before they moved on to the others. But when they went in, Brian found that AJ was sound asleep. A look at the clock explained why. Dr. Brand had given AJ some pain medication in his IV and it had been long enough now for it to fully be in his system. Those meds were made to dull AJ’s pain and put him to sleep, as Dr. Brand said that was the best healer.
“Merciful Heaven, look at him.” Jackie whispered, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Look at the poor boy.”
Harold placed an arm around his wife’s waist and rested one hand on Brian’s shoulder, the one belonging to his good arm. “You’re all lucky to be alive.” He said. The tone to his voice let Brian know that his comment was finally starting to sink in. “My God. Kevin told us about what happened and how it happened, but he didn’t have much time to describe what happened. What’s wrong with everyone?”
So, as they stood watching AJ sleep, Brian caught them up on everyone’s injuries. When he was done he could see how much it upset his parents.
He sighed softly. “I realized today that no one’s called Denise. I…I don’t know what Age wants me to do. I don’t know what to tell her. How do you tell someone that their son almost died and that he may never talk again?”
“Oh, honey.” Jackie reached across her husband so she could clasp Brian’s hand. “You leave that one to me. I’ll call Denise.”
That took one weight off of Brian’s shoulders. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Of course.”
“Howie called his family, convinced them not to come. So did Kev.” Pausing, Brian felt some of his temper build a little. “Kev called Nick’s family. They aren’t coming.” Those words were all he could manage to say. Nothing else had to be said. All the Littrell’s knew how Nick’s family was. He’d spent enough vacations and holidays with them, practically soaking up that kind of family time like a dried out sponge. They welcomed him in like he was one of the family, which to them, he was.
With a mother’s eye, Jackie saw the signs of exhaustion on Brian’s face when she looked over at him. She stepped away from her husband to grip Brian’s good arm, leading him toward the bed. “We’re here now, darling, and we’re going to help out as best we can. I promise you that. We’re not going anywhere. So you just lay down, get some rest, and we’ll be here when you wake up.”
Somehow Brian found himself being tucked into his hospital bed. He felt his Mom’s hand on his forehead, smoothing back his hair. “What-” He paused, yawning. “What if AJ wakes up? He needs me.”
“We’re going to go check on the others and then we’ll come back. I’ll sit right in here so I’ll be here when he wakes up. Don’t you worry about this, baby. You’re not alone. None of you are. We’re here to help you.”
“I love you, Mom, Dad.”
“We love you too, son.” Harold said. Together, he and Jackie watched as Brian drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once they were sure that Brian was out, Jackie and Harold set off to visit the other boys. From what Kevin had told them, he, Howie and Nick were now sharing a room. That made it easy for them to find the three boys. The door to their room was cracked slightly and voices drifted out from it. Just as Jackie made to push it open, she heard Kevin’s deep voice say “Yeah, I did, Nick.” He sounded uncomfortable.
Jackie opened the door, standing silently with Harold, watching the three who had yet to notice them. Her eyes were all for Nick. A hopeful expression was slowly being chased off his face by grief. “They’re not coming, are they?” He said flatly.
“The weather, it’s really bad out there, Nick.” Kevin tried to explain. It was obvious he was grasping at anything that might make this easier for Nick. It was equally obvious that it wasn’t working. “Sure, Kev. Sure. Their son almost dies, but they can’t stand driving through a little bit of snow to come see for themselves that he’s ok. I get it.”
When Nick tried to turn his wheelchair away from them, Howie squatted down. There was so much compassion in his face. He rested one hand on Nick’s arm, the other coming up to smooth back some of Nick’s hair. “We’re here for you, Nick.” He said softly. “I know it’s not the same, but we’re here and we care.”
A little bit of Nick’s broken heart was leaking into his eyes. “Why can’t they come?” he whispered brokenly. “Just one time, why can’t they act like they care?”
“I don’t know, honey.” Howie whispered back to him. “But we care.”
Unable to restrain herself any longer, Jackie stepped into the room, Harold right behind her. Three sets of eyes shot up, but Jackie only paid attention to one pair. A watery, liquid blue pair that had always tugged on her heartstrings. No matter who his mother was, Nick had become so close to them that Jackie often thought of him as her son as well.
Rushing forward, Jackie ignored Nick’s leg for the moment and simply focused on the heartache she was reading in him. She barely noticed Howie slipping out of the way for her. All she focused on was dropping to her knees beside Nick’s wheelchair and flinging her arms around his neck. “Oh, Nicholas!”
She held him close, hugging him as tightly as he was hugging her. “Oh, baby, you’re ok.” She whispered into his hair. “They told me you were all ok, but my heart was just racing.” Pulling back, she framed his face. “Just let me look at you. Let me see with my own eyes.” Look at him she did, taking in all the signs of stress and pain on his features, in his eyes. Her eavesdropping had told her the source of that pain. It was enough to make her want to go out and find the Carters and give them one hell of a piece of her mind.
Making a soft sound of distress, Jackie pulled Nick close again, letting his head bury in her shoulder. She looked up and watched as Harold squatted on the other side, one hand lacing with Nick’s, the other resting on the boys back. Howie and Kevin had stepped over by the window, giving them privacy for a moment.
“They aren’t coming, Jackie.” Nick whispered into her hair. “Kev called them, but they won’t come.”
“I know, baby, I know.”
“Why the hell can’t they come see me? I was thrown from a bus! My leg…they say I might not dance again. But they can’t even come and see me? They haven’t called my room here or anything.”
Harold squeezed Nick’s hand. “We’re here, son. You think we came just because of Brian? We’re here for all of you and we’re not going anywhere. We’ll be here to help you through all this.”
“He’s right, Nick.” Jackie added in. “We’re going to stay with all of you and help you through this. We love you, baby. You’re family. We stand by our family. You’re not alone in this, so you just get that right out of your head, you hear me?”
Nick pulled back, wiping at his face with one hand. He chuckled softly. “Yes, ma’am.”
Shifting, Jackie rose to her feet and smiled down at him. “Good. Well, now that that’s settled.” Looking over, she smiled at Howie and Kevin. “The two of you get over here and let us see you. How’re you doing? Kevin, your ribs paining you?”
“No, ma’am.” Kevin said respectfully. He smiled as he sat on the edge of the nearest bed. “I took my meds, so I’m feeling pretty well right now.”
That had her nodding and turning toward Howie. “What about you, Howard? You taking your medication? You always were just like Brian, stubborn when it came to meds.”
The smile Howie flashed her was full of charm. “Now, Jackie, I’m wounded. Me, stubborn?” he tried for innocent, failing miserably when everyone laughed. Even as she chuckled, Jackie nodded. “Most definitely.” She replied.
Howie’s grin turned amused. He shrugged his shoulders and held out a hand. “What can I say? You know me too well.” Reaching out, he pulled Jackie into a hug. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, sweetheart.” She told him. When they pulled apart, Howie moved over to give Harold a hug. Once all of that was out of the way, though, Jackie put her hands on her hips and looked around at them all. “Ok, now, I know the other two just took their medication and knocked out. Kevin says he took his. How about you two? “
“I was just about to take mine and give Nick his.” Howie told her with a smile. “We were just going to settle in and eat some dinner. It should be here before too long.”
“Ok.” Nodding again, Jackie looked around, debating what to do. “Harold, would you mind sticking with these boys for a while? I’ve still got to call Denise before I get back down with Brian and Alex.”
It was Kevin who smiled at her and teased, “Aunt Jackie, we are adults. We don’t need to be babysat.”
She scoffed at him. “You boys are stuck with us.” She told him, shaking a finger at him. “We’re going to take care of you here until you’re released and then we’re taking you to the hotel and taking care of you there until the rest of you get freed. As of this moment, you’re stuck with us.”
Smart asses that they were, the three men all saluted at the same time, calling out “Yes Ma’am!”
Jackie was laughing when she left the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When AJ woke again, it was light outside. A look at the clock showed him it was morning. He’d slept away the evening and the night. After looking to the clock, his eyes automatically looked around the room, trying to find Brian. He felt his chest start to tighten when he realized that the entire room was empty. There was no one in there with him.
No, Brian wouldn’t leave him alone. He wouldn’t do something like that. He had to be in the bathroom or something like that. Right? He knew how scared AJ was. He wouldn’t leave him alone! He wouldn’t!
That didn’t stop the panic from starting to build. AJ grabbed the railings on his bed, pulling himself up a little so he was sitting better. His eyes darted around as he prayed that Brian would come walking in at any moment. He couldn’t be here alone. He just couldn’t! What if one of the nurses came in while Brian was gone? What if they tried to come at him with a needle?
He literally felt the color drain from his face. They wouldn’t bring any needles near him, would they? He was already all stitched up. There was no need for them to poke at him or such, right?
The start of a panic attack was filling him, making his breath wheeze in and out of his abused throat. It made a small whistling sound that seemed to echo loudly in the room.
Suddenly the bathroom door opened. Looking over, AJ was surprised to see that it wasn’t Brian who came out. It was Jackie, Brian’s mom. She looked over to him, her eyes sweeping over his body in one quick assessment. Then she was rushing to his side, reaching out to take his hand in hers. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d wake up. I just needed to step into the bathroom.”
He wanted to ask her where Brian was. He wanted, so badly, to know where Brian had gone to and why he’d left him. Damn his throat! Trying to curb his panic, he pointed to Brian’s bed and furrowed his eyebrows, hoping she’d understand. Air was still whistling in and out, the panic attack not progressing, but not leaving him either.
Jackie understood him quickly. “They took him down to take the stitches out of his chest where they closed him back up. It’s healed over. Dr. Brand promised it would be quick. He said he’ll be back as quickly as possible, honey.”
Sweet God above, Brian wasn’t here? He was down with the doctor? But…but what would happen if the nurses came in? Who would keep them from touching him? In his mind, AJ knew that was selfish, but he couldn’t help it at the moment. He couldn’t seem to stop those thoughts, no matter how selfish they were. He needed Brian with him.
It must have been written on his face because Jackie gripped his hand tighter. “I’m right here with you, Alex, and I promise I won’t leave. Brian told me how much these places scare you. I won’t leave you alone, ok?”
He tried to listen to her, to taper down the panic, but it wasn’t working that well. What if the nurses didn’t listen to her? They listened to Brian. Brian could be a tough guy if he wanted. He could make people listen to him. The few times AJ had been in a hospital for any reason at all, Brian had gone with him and helped him get through it.
At least Brian was healing well enough that they could take some of the stitches out. He tried to console himself with that thought. That meant that Brian’s chest had healed up well enough. That was a good thing. That was positive.
He glanced over when Jackie moved, watching as she poured a glass of water and brought it over to him. “Here, Alex, drink up. They said you could use all the moisture for your throat that you could take.”
Water sounded absolutely wonderful. Taking the cup from her, AJ drank it down in small, slow sips, trying to focus on that and that alone. It was enough to keep his panic level down some. He could breathe easier if he focused his attention on anything but the fact that Brian wasn’t in the room. The water felt good on his throat.
Thinking of his throat made his heart jump a little again. He looked down at his lap, wondering if it was going to be just as bad as it had been the last time he’d been awake. Was there a chance that he might have gained back some sound? There was only one way to find out.
He looked up at Jackie and tried to say the words that were most important to him. “I want to see Brian.”
Nothing came out.
No. No, he wouldn’t give up. Swallowing, AJ tried harder. “I want to see Brian.”
Nothing.
Jackie’s hand came up, brushing against his cheek. When he jerked reflexively away from her, she didn’t falter, only rested her hand back down over his. “I know you want to see him, honey. He’ll be back soon.”
Wait, she’d understood him? But he hadn’t made any sound! Confused, he looked at her and tried to speak again. “How did you know what I said?” He asked her silently. Still no sound, though it did make his throat feel like it was suddenly on fire.
“With the church, I help out with a group of deaf kids.” Jackie explained to him. She was smiling in that kind, sweet way that Brian had inherited. It set AJ a little at ease. “I learned how to lip read and to sign a long time ago. You know,” Suddenly thoughtful, Jackie pursed her lips. “Dr. Brand said that you may have to rest your throat for a while to let it heal. If you want, I could teach you a few things in basic sign so you could at least get your point across to people while you’re healing.”
Sign? She wanted to teach him to sign? God, was he never going to speak again? No, no, that’s not what she said he told himself. She was offering to teach you so you can communicate while you heal. You are going to heal, Mclean! You will speak again. You’ll sing again!
Maybe learning to sign would be a good thing. Not only would he be able to speak up for himself a little, but it would give him something to focus on during the daytime instead of endlessly thinking about his voice. Biting his lip, AJ nodded at her. “Please.” He mouthed.
That Littrell smile spread over Jackie’s face, brightening her eyes and setting AJ even more at ease. Brian was so much like his mother in so many ways.
She wasted no time in dropping down his bed railing and hitching herself up onto the side of his bed. “No time like the present.” She said cheerfully. “We can start you with little things, but things that you might need to say while you’re here. How about this one?” She brought up her right pointed finger and tipped her head up a little, putting it under her chin and running it in a line down to the bottom of her throat. “This one means ‘I’m thirsty.’ One you might use quite a bit.”
AJ forced himself to pay attention. He lifted a finger, mimicking her gesture. She smiled at him and nodded. “There you go.” She told him happily. “That’s an easy one and one you probably won’t forget. It’s easy to associate the two because it’s like a gesture of the drink you want, going down your throat.” They both did it a few more times until she was sure he’d remember it. Then she moved on to showing him ‘I’m hungry’, which was signed by shaping your hand so your fingers and thumb made a ‘C’ and then pointing them at about heart level and drawing the hand down to the stomach. That was ‘I’m hungry’.
By the time Brian came back in, AJ had almost completely forgotten his panic attack in the face of learning what Jackie was teaching him.