Though it had taken the better part of an hour, Brian had finally cried himself empty. It hadn’t taken long after that before Brian was asleep. AJ stayed sitting on the edge of the couch even after he’d let go of Brian and laid him back down on the cushions. For a long while he just sat there, staring down into Brian’s sweet face. Occasionally AJ couldn’t resist reaching up and brushing a small bit of Brian’s hair back from his face.

 

It was so hard to sit back and watch Brian go through something like this. To know that there wasn’t really anything that he could do to help. Feeling helpless was not something that AJ liked or that he dealt with very well.

 

After an hour or so had passed and still Brian hadn’t stirred, AJ thought that maybe Brian would finally get some real sleep. Thank God. That was the most important thing for Brian right now. Sleep. The rest they could deal with as it came along but they wouldn’t be able to do anything if Brian was fighting exhaustion at the same time.

 

The bus shifted and slowed. Looking out the window, AJ saw where they were headed. Wal-Mart. Must be time for a pit stop he thought to himself. Well, that was good; there were a few things he wanted to grab. For a moment he looked down at Brian and debated leaving him alone. If he woke and was by himself, would he freak again? Would he be upset with AJ for leaving him?

 

No, Brian would understand. He wouldn’t be upset with AJ. But he might get scared. So, as the bus pulled into the parking lot, AJ scribbled a quick note and placed it right by Brian’s hands where he would see it if he woke. Then he pulled his shoes on and headed off the bus once it parked.

 

So deep in his thoughts was he that he didn’t notice anyone else around him as he headed into the store. But someone suddenly bumped arms with him, startling him out of his thoughts so badly that he jumped a little.

 

“Sorry, Age.” Howie said with a chuckle. “Didn’t realize you were so jumpy today.”

 

Sighing, AJ looked at his friend for a moment before starting back down the aisle. “It’s fine.” AJ mumbled. He turned down toward the food section. Maybe if he grabbed a few things that he knew Brian loved he might be able to entice him into eating something. The man barely ate anything. Not that AJ could blame him. As depressed as Brian was, it wasn’t surprising that food had no appeal. But it wasn’t healthy. There had to be some way to convince him to eat something…

 

Another nudge to his arm brought him back from his thoughts again. “You ok, AJ?” This time, Howie’s voice was full of concern. With another sigh, AJ bumped Howie back. “Fine, D. Just got a lot on my mind.”

 

Something passed over Howie’s face for a moment. He looked quickly around them, the aisle they were on was empty, then spoke in a low voice that AJ could barely hear. “Is it something to do with what happened to Brian?”

 

Shock had AJ freezing in place. “What?” He managed to croak out. There was no doubt what Howie was talking about. The knowledge was written plainly in his sympathetic eyes. But how the hell had he found out about this?

 

As if he could read AJ’s mind, Howie said, still speaking softly, “Come on, AJ. I have plenty of girls in my family. I know the one fear a girl has above all else, the look it gives her when she worries about it. Not to mention I’ve known a girl it’s happened to. I saw Brian and you afterwards, remember? It took me a while, but after that outburst with him and Kevin, I pieced it all together.”

 

“Jesus.” Oh, Brian was not going to like this.

 

“I’m not the only one. Kev knows too. He was there when I figured it out.”

 

God, Brian really wasn’t going to like this. That meant that everyone knew. If he found out that everyone knew what had happened to him, he would panic. This was the last thing he had wanted to happen. Another thought occurred to AJ, making his eyes go wide. “You guys can’t say anything to him about this.” He said quickly. This was important, he had to make Howie understand. “You can’t treat him differently. That’d be the worst possible thing to do. He’s so fragile right now.”

 

Howie was quick to reassure him. “I know, I know, don’t worry. Kev was all for taking Brian away somewhere to let him heal, somewhere that he could take care of him, but I convinced him not to. The last thing Brian needs is Kev hovering over him.” He still spoke in a whisper, his eyes darting frequently to make sure that they were still alone. “Plus, Brian’s seemed to latch on to you. I don’t think he needs anything that would take you away from him.”

 

This was going to make things so different. Now that everyone else knew, it would change some of AJ’s worries. Take some away, but replace them with new ones. He’d have to be on the lookout to make sure that Kevin didn’t try to interfere. Oh, he’d have the best of intentions. There was no denying that Kevin loved his cousin. It was a special bond that those two had. But sometimes the best of intentions can have the worst consequences.

 

AJ grabbed a bag of chips off the shelf as he thought all this through. He spoke absently to Howie as he moved along the shelf, putting things into the little basket he had on his arm. “I don’t know why he’s picked me, but let Kevin know that I’m doing everything I can to help. I’ve got him sleeping right now, finally, and when he wakes up I’m going to try to get him to eat.”

 

They moved to another aisle where a couple of people were shopping. Howie waited until they were away from there and down another empty aisle before whispering “You’re an easy to trust guy, Age. Doesn’t surprise me he picked you to trust.”

 

“Huh?” AJ asked in genuine surprise. No one had ever said anything like that to him before.

 

“Well, you’ve just got this thing about you.” Looking over, Howie shrugged. “People just kind of sense that you’re trustworthy. An once they get to know you, well, anyone who’s your friend knows that you’ll go to the wall for them. You never betray anyone’s trust and you never do anything to intentionally hurt someone. You’re just what Brian needs right now.”

 

The compliment of that all warmed AJ a little on the inside. Howie wasn’t the type of person that was free with compliments or praise, so when he did give them out they tended to mean that much more. “Thanks, D.”

 

“No problem.” A quick flash of a smile, then another surprise “Plus, with the shit you went through in your addiction time, you’re probably the only one that can relate to him.”

 

That had AJ stopping again. This time he couldn’t keep himself from gaping at Howie. He opened his mouth to speak but no words would come out. Howie…Howie knew about that stuff?

 

It was easy for Howie to read the look on AJ’s face. He reached a hand out, touching his arm. When he spoke, his voice was soft and gentle. “AJ, I’m your best friend. Did you think I never noticed what was going on? I saw all the people come and go from your room. I found you once or twice in bed with some of them, still passed out. I saw you after treatment, too. The others may not have looked deep in it, but I did. I saw how little you wanted to be touched. How jumpy you were around any contact. I saw the shame you carried everywhere with you. It made me glad to see when it started to fade.”

 

“But you never said anything.” AJ whispered back. He felt as if his whole world had suddenly been flipped upside down!

 

“No, I didn’t.” Looking at AJ’s face, Howie smiled a little. “You’re not like Bri, honey. You’re so fiercely independent. I knew if I came to you, you’d push me away. I also knew that if you wanted to talk about it, this was something that you’d bring up yourself. If I’d said anything I might have made it worse. You’ve always known my doors open for you. So I knew that if you wanted to talk, you always knew where to find me.”

 

To give himself a minute, AJ scanned the shelf again, looking for more food to try to bribe Brian with. The two friends walked quietly for a short while, gathering a few more items before heading up to the check stand.

 

While waiting in line, AJ looked over to the man who had always been his best friend. “I don’t know what to do, D. This…it’s so hard. I want to help him so badly but I feel like I’m just floundering, trying to figure out something and coming up with nothing.”

 

They’d reached the conveyer belt by then. Howie took things from AJ’s basket, placing them on the belt. “Just keep doing what you’re doing, Age. Apparently it’s working. Help with what you can and just be there for the rest. Right now he probably just needs someone steady that he can trust. Someone he can go to and feel safe around. He knows he can get that with you.”

 

AJ couldn’t help the small smile that curved his lips. “Thanks.” He whispered. It felt good to have someone he trusted advise him, especially when they meshed exactly with what he was doing and thinking.

 

While he waited for the checker to finish with the customer in front of him, AJ let his eyes idly scan the area around him. He was trying to process everything that had been said between him and Howie.

 

He spotted Kevin standing a few rows down, paying for his purchases. Over in the clothes was Nick, his back to the check stands as he sifted through things. That kid, always buying clothes. AJ smiled as his gaze came back up to the stands again. Something caught his attention, freezing him.

 

There was Nick, standing at the front of the store, a bag in his arm. But hadn’t he just been by the clothes? This was definitely Nick. There was no mistaking his smiling, animated face as he spoke into the cellphone in his hand. Then, a moment later, Kevin joined him and they headed out of the store.

 

Even as his items were rung up, AJ shifted his gaze back to where the clothes were at. The Nick look alike was still there. A chill ran down AJ’s spine. The longer he looked, the worse the feeling in his stomach became. Aside from his resemblance to Nick there was something else familiar about that man.

 

The man turned a little, looking toward the front of the store, and AJ felt everything inside of him ice over. Sweet mother of God. It couldn’t be! No…no. But that face was one that AJ would never forget. It was branded into his memory, though he had only seen it once before for just a brief moment. Just for that split second as the man had stepped out of a bathroom that, moments later, AJ had found Brian curled up inside of.

 

Rage filled AJ to the brim. He felt his hands quivering with the urge to do something. Before he’d even thought about it he was pushing past the people behind him in line, leaving his stuff at the register and making his way through the crowd.

 

The man looked up, almost as if he gaze was drawn to AJ. He met his gaze, their eyes locking, and a smile spread across his face. That smile was almost enough to freeze AJ’s insides. The man looked positively…sinister.

 

Without ever dropping his smile, the man winked at him. Then he put his stuff down and weeded through the crowd toward the front door.

 

Though he had no idea what he’d do if he caught him, AJ instantly changed direction and followed him toward the doors. The man broke free moments before he did. But there were tons of people outside, fans included, and AJ found himself surrounded before he could even blink. Standing up on tiptoe, he managed to look over the top of the crowd just in time to see the guy reach the edge of the building.

 

Pausing, the man looked over at AJ with an earsplitting grin. “Tell our friend I’ll visit another time!” He called out before he disappeared around the corner.

 

There was no way that AJ could break free from the fans to go after this guy. It took everything he had not to simply trample over them all in his need to go chase the guy down and pound him to a pulp.

 

By the time security made it over and dispersed the group, Howie came walking out of the store with AJ’s stuff in hand. “What the hell?” he demanded, handing AJ his bags. “What was that? Why’d you run off all of a sudden?”

 

“I saw someone.” AJ murmured, scanning his eyes over the whole parking lot. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d catch another glimpse of the guy and could try to go after him again. it would feel good to do something productive. It would feel good to pound the little punk down into the cement.

 

The guy was nowhere in sight, though. A sudden thought hit AJ, freezing him for one single instant. He knew his eyes went wide with horror, could actually feel the fear settle onto his face. The next instant he was flying, barely a care for the bags in his arms, racing toward the bus.

 

He hit the stairs at a run, practically spilling his groceries and almost sending himself falling down. But somehow he managed to scramble and keep himself from falling or from dropping anything.

 

His panic didn’t subside until he got fully onto the bus and saw Brian lying just where he’d left him, the note still sitting with him, and he heard him snoring lightly. Oh thank God. Thank fucking God. For one terrifying instant all AJ had been able to think of was Brian, alone on the bus, and that man obviously around here somewhere. If he’d got at Brian when AJ was supposed to be protecting him, well, it would shatter that oh so fragile part of Brian.

 

Quietly AJ set his groceries on the counter. Then, he couldn’t resist anymore, he hurried over and knelt beside the couch, near Brian’s head. With a soft touch he ran the back of his hand over Brian’s cheek. He just needed that little moment of physical contact. That little reassurance.

 

What the hell were they going to do now? AJ refused to believe it was just chance that this man was here, at the exact same place and the exact same time that they were. No. That was too much to be a coincidence. But what could he do about it? Should he tell Brian?

 

God, that would terrify him. Absolutely terrify Brian. But…better to be told the truth than have people ‘protect’ you with a lie. If the roles were reversed, AJ knew that he would want Brian to tell him. To respect him enough not to keep things from him.

 

Not only that, but if he kept it quiet now and later on Brian found out, and found out that AJ had known, then the little bit of trust that he had in AJ would be destroyed.

 

There was only one choice. Once Brian woke up, AJ was going to tell him who he’d seen. He was also going to tell him that the others knew the truth. What would happen after that, God only knew.